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I got slammed by all sorts of emotions earlier this year, each delivering an undeniable message to stop and reassess. I had an urge to get away from it all and I didn’t have a plan to do something better. In the past I would’ve just pushed on through, ignoring the discomfort and perhaps even using that nervous energy to fuel a new project. Not this time. For someone who’s usually pretty productive and organised, stopping, to do who knows what was scary! It felt kind of pointless and I felt kind of useless. It was hard to slow down. 6 weeks went by, the time I’d committed to giving myself a break and I was only just starting to properly let go. So I kept going and 6 weeks turned into 3 months, of which I am only just ever so slowly crawling out of now. Time in hibernation taught me 3 invaluable lessons that I wouldn’t have been able to fully access whilst staying busy in my business. These are things you know intellectually, but until you have an experience that puts the spotlight them, you don’t take them on board. So let me shine the light and hopefully, you won’t have to meet burnout or a dead end before you embrace them.  1. My Biz, My Rules (Your Biz, Your Rules) You didn't get into business to have someone else to tell you what to do. You can work for a boss if that’s your thing. So why look around so much? Do you look to others for all the answers and wait for permission to do things? Even after years in business I still held onto this idea that everyone else knew what they were doing but I couldn’t trust myself. Do you trust yourself? If you don't know HOW to do something you want to do, then you ask for help. But you can quit feeling guilty or ‘less than’ if you’re not keeping up with the Jones, the latest trends or doing all the things. You didn’t get into Business to feel time-poor, stressed, confused, overwhelmed or overworked. So create Your business to work in a way that works for you.
Do the things YOU want to do. Not the things you feel you should do, or your coach told you to do, or some social media guru says you can’t succeed without. Only. those. things. Ignore the things that don’t feel good for you, that aren’t in alignment with how you want it to be and challenge your belief that there are only a couple of ways to be successful in business. Why is this lesson HUGE? Because if you’re not out to achieve your dreams the way you want them, you might as well be an employee and help build someone else’s dream. 2. Love the Core of the Business Learn to love and honour yourself for no reason. Your worthiness has nothing to do with your productivity, your bank balance, or your social media presence. Did you know you are equally worthy when you are doing absolutely nothing? Take excellent care of yourself every single day because that’s what is needed to be successful in life and business. Nurture the core of your business which is YOU, otherwise there won’t be a business for long. What that looks like might be different for you and I, so figure out what you need to keep balance. And here’s a good one, forgive your fuck-ups. No doubt you’ve made mistakes in your biz or gotten off-track at times. Let those things be lessons, forgive yourself quickly and leave the energy of blunder behind you so you can keep going with ease and grace. Learn to love yourself no matter what. Why is this so important? You deserve to achieve your business goals and dreams which can only happen when you do things in a sustainable way. That means a shit-ton of self-love and care to protect the heart and soul of your business. 3. Choose what Floats Your Boat What floats your boat it what inspires you, feels good and you damn well enjoy doing. As I mentioned once or twice before, if you don’t want to do it, don’t do it. There are so many different ways to be successful in business. Choose the business model that works for you and doesn’t have you doing the things you hate. Work with the clients you want to work with instead of trying to appeal to everyone. Offer only the services and products that are joyful and inspire you. In other words, practice discernment within your business. Why such a biggie? It’s exhausting to work in ways that you don’t enjoy. If you want to stay in love with your business, focus on the feel-good factor. So what’s the bottom line here? Know what YOU want and stick with that. Seek help to do things in the way YOU want to do them. Forget the rest. Over to You… What is your Business Vision and are you honouring it? Tag me on the socials and let me know or send me a DM. If you’re still working out what your beautiful Business Vision looks like, or the time has come to reassess, you can take the next step with my just released short course, Aligned to Success. You’ll be guided to design your compelling future (Business Vision), really figure out what you want it to be, and learn how to re-program your subconscious mind for that success. Then you'll be doing life and business on your own terms, which is always my deepest wish for you. Check it out here.  Meet Melissa Kay (that's me) A mother, partner, lover of life, personal growth, and good coffee, Melissa has a passion for inspiring others to boldly pursue their big dreams. She owns and runs Melissa Kay - Out with the Ordinary, helping her clients to challenge their own status quo and finally create a life and business they truly love. Ways to work with me Join the Project REAL - level up your confidence and visibility Join the free Facebook community - for daily inspiring content and great conversations with Australian Women in Business.
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Ever find yourself procrastinating, feeling anxious, or being inconsistent when it comes to your social media? You know you’ve got to be there and be visible so your clients can find you, but there are too many tempting excuses to hide out instead. In part 1 of this blog, I addressed three of the most common problems I see when it comes to showing up confidently and consistently on social media. Now in part 2, we venture further down the rabbit hole with a few more of the top-ranking reasons why you might feel stressed or lack the confidence to promote yourself and your business. Problem/Excuse #4 I’m just not feeling it today, I want to wait until I’m 100% so I can give 100% Chances are that 99% of the time you won’t be feeling 100%, so you need to let go of this idea that it has to be perfect. If you do some rough math, you can quickly see how much you’re going to achieve if you stick with this idea. Imperfect and done is better than never done at all. Besides, who said they expect you to be perfect when you show up, otherwise you shouldn’t bother? Probably only you. What to do: Commit to one small promo task that you’ve been putting off and make it happen, warts and all. It won’t kill you or your business if it’s not 100% perfect and you may even begin to feel a bit accomplished, making you want to come back for more. Problem #5 I’m too something (aka. I’m not good enough) I’m too tired, too old, too uneducated, too shy, too fat, too boring, too clumsy, too unwell, too fake, too real, too sad, too stressed, too overwhelmed and my hair is awful… do I need to keep going? The truth is that none of these things, especially not your hair, matter as much as your potential clients being able to get to know you. They need to see the real you because that’s how they’ll decide if you are right for them. Don’t assume that everyone out there is looking for perfect, people often find that too intimidating because it’s not like them. What to do: Just be you. It’s totally ok and ‘your’ clients will be able to find you, as soon as you come out of hiding.  Problem #6 I feel like a fake and/or she does it better than me Have you ever wondered why someone would come to work with you, or even listen to what you have to say when there are so many fricking amazing talents out there already? Imposter syndrome and comparisonitis are two of the biggies that will keep you hiding, playing small and never putting anything out there. Everyone has preferences and you will deliver your knowledge and skill, your wisdom and your work, in a way that is unique to you. Some people (these are your clients) will need it just as you offer it. Other people will not connect with your particular style (these are not your clients) and that is perfectly ok. What to do: Stop comparing yourself with others, especially those who are much further ahead on their journey, and simply show up in your own unique way. Problem #7 I’m scared nobody will like or want what I have to offer Truthbomb – it can totally happen! In fact, you can pour your heart and soul into something, or be skilled and passionate about your work, but when you present it to the world, you get dead silence in return. Now before you go running back into the closet let me say loudly, this is not personal. The rejection or better put, lack of interest in something you are offering does not equal rejection of you. It means you need to tweak it, the marketing was off, your audience doesn’t need it, it requires a different approach. So what if no one besides your mother liked your first Facebook live? Try something else, try a different topic, re-evaluate and go again. There will be things that work for you and things that don’t. And don’t forget, a lot more people see your posts but don’t engage with them. What to do: Focus on growing your ideal audience and stop confusing other people’s perceived value of your offer with your own personal worth, then you’ll see things begin to shift. Stop hiding your amazing self away from the world. You’ve got people to serve and they need to be able to find you. If you’re inspired to level up your confidence and visibility this year you can also check out Project REAL - aligned confidence and empowered self-promotion. Over 6 weeks in an incredible group of women, you’ll find the confidence and strategy you need to shine brightly and magnetise your ideal clients with ease. This is my absolute favourite program to teach and the results for my students have been fabulous. Check out the details here and see what previous participants have experienced in Project REAL.  Meet Melissa Kay A mother, lover of life, personal growth, and good coffee, Melissa has a passion for inspiring and helping others to dream big and take action. She owns and runs Melissa Kay Coaching where she focuses on empowerment and lasting transformation, so her clients can create a life and business they truly love. Ways to work with Melissa Join the Project REAL - join the waitlist Work with Melissa VIP style - 1:1 coaching packages Join the free Facebook community - for daily content and great conversations The online social world is a bustling and often crowded space. When you want to promote your message and your business, standing out enough to be noticed by your ideal clients takes quite a bit of courage and commitment. It can feel intimidating and overwhelming to put yourself out there at all, let alone figure out how to show up in a way that’s impactful. If you’ve felt resistance of any kind when it comes to self-promotion, read on as I’ve got some great tips for the most common problems I hear about from my clients and my audience. Whether you find yourself procrastinating, feeling nervous, undoubtedly in hiding or being inconsistent, here are a few practical steps you can take right now to start showing up with confidence and ease. Problem #1 I don’t even know where to begin You’ve most likely heard a ton of ideas on how to get more Visibile and attract clients. That last webinar you attended was full of tips and tricks and you wrote some of them down but it’s all feels too overwhelming. Where do I start? What should I post? Where should I show up? Where are my ideal clients? What will be effective? When you feel overwhelmed it’s a message from your mind that you are trying to do too much, and your brain is scattered because haven’t prioritised. Overwhelm is a useful signal, there’s nothing wrong with you, the key is to pay attention to the message. What to do: Grab your pen and paper or open a doc on your computer and write it all out. Every to-do, from the ginormous to the tiniest of tasks, all the ideas you’ve got, all need to get out of your head and into words. Go through your list and draw a heart next to the ones that are most important ie. they will have a positive impact on your business AND you have the resources to do them (think time, energy, skills). Cross out any ideas that don’t feel right for you. I would even suggest writing a new list with only your top ideas (it’s safe to forget the rest for now), then picking one task and taking action on it immediately. You will begin to feel better in no time because now you are no longer stalled, you are progressing. Rinse and repeat.  Problem #2 I’m an introvert and I’m terrified of putting myself out there What’s your biggest introvert nightmare? Is it showing your face on social media, live video, networking events? Well, you might not like this news but being an introvert is no excuse for not revealing yourself. Many successful entrepreneurs are introverts and you can be one too. In fact, many extroverted people have the same insecurities as you do, they just take a different (often louder) approach to dealing with them. As an introvert, you will need more recharge time because these kinds of activities take your energy instead of giving you more. Don’t let that stop you, plan accordingly. What to do: From this moment forward, you can no longer use the “I’m an introvert” excuse. Take small steps to grow your confidence and trust in yourself, do not doom yourself to a lifetime of hiding due to a personality trait. What’s not a personality trait is confidence! That’s what you need to get out there and be seen. So remember how capable you are and plan your promotion in bulk. In other words, create and schedule your content so it’s not a daily task. Problem #3 I don’t know what to talk about, I’m confused about what to share There are 2 keys to knowing what content to share with your audience. Firstly, who are they? What are they interested in and what do they need to know? Secondly, who are you? What’s your story and how do you help? If knowing what to say or write about has you stumped, let me simplify into three easy categories for you to start with. 1. talk about yourself and your experiences so that people can get to know you 2. talk about the results your service/product gets for your clients 3. talk about the things that are the biggest problems for your audience – if you’re not sure what they are then you need to find out. Ask them! Whatever you do, do not hide behind pretty stock images, your logo and a bunch of positive quotes. Those things have their place but they don’t create a real connection with your audience. What to do: People need to know about you and what you do before there is any chance that they’ll want to work with you. Make it clear and easy for them with clarity and consistency. So which one got you nodding your head the most? Stay tuned for part 2 next week when I dive deeper into confidence, self-belief, imposter syndrome and fear of rejection. In the meantime, stop hiding your amazing self away from the world. You’ve got people to serve and they need to be able to find you. If you’re inspired to level up your confidence and visibility this year you can also check out Project REAL - aligned confidence and empowered self-promotion. Over 6 weeks in an incredible group of women, you’ll find the confidence and strategy you need to shine brightly and magnetise your ideal clients with ease. This is my absolute favourite program to teach and the results for my students have been fabulous. Check out the details here and see what previous participants have experienced in Project REAL. 
Meet Melissa Kay A mother, lover of life, personal growth, and good coffee, Melissa has a passion for inspiring and helping others to dream big and take action. She owns and runs Melissa Kay Coaching where she focuses on empowerment and lasting transformation, so her clients can create a life and business they truly love. Ways to work with Melissa Join the Project REAL - join the waitlist Work with Melissa VIP style - 1:1 coaching packages Join the free Facebook community - for daily content and great conversations Is a lack of confidence holding you back or stopping you from taking action on your dreams? I know it’s stopped me in my tracks plenty of times. But you know what? Confidence is nothing more than a feeling of certainty that you create within yourself. That’s right, YOU create it. Many people think that it’s a trait. It’s something you either have or don’t have. That idea is so misleading and leaves you feeling helpless. But the successful people of the world know better. They are not free from doubt or uncertainty, they simply know how to take charge of themselves and change those feelings into more resourceful ones. Being confident is nothing more than believing in yourself and trusting that you can handle the outcome of whatever happens. If there’s something you want in your life but you’ve been too afraid to go for it, here are a few simple ways you can boost your confidence right now. Don’t wait for someday when it might feel better, or go without because you believe you’re just not confident enough to take action. Up your confidence right now and get started.  #1 Understand and feel confident already with focus Remembering that confidence is something you create will shift your perspective and instantly put the power back in your hands. You CAN do something about it! Confidence is a feeling that you already know, and it lives inside of you when you think of areas of your life in which you excel. What are you great at? Where do you show up as your best? What do you feel completely competent and confident about? Answer these questions and tap into the feeling you get when you focus on those things. There you go, you just created the feeling of confidence inside yourself. #2 Create confidence by using your body Describe a confident person. How do they walk, talk, breathe, speak? If you can describe them it’s because you already know how you need to move your body if you want to feel confident. When you are in an unresourceful or negative state, you will likely hunch over, drop your eyes, and forget to breathe properly. You can create different feelings in your body by changing how you move. If you want to feel confident, move like you would if you did. #3 Visualize the outcome you want Instead of asking “what if it doesn’t work out?” and thinking about everything that could go wrong, imagine the outcome you really want. Visualizing yourself doing that thing or achieving that goal is like a practice run for your success. See it and feel it working. And what happens when you practice something over and over? You get better at it. When you visualise with emotion, your mind can’t tell if it’s happening in real life or not and so you’ll grow your confidence before you even take on the challenge for real. Building confidence may take a little time and persistence but with the right focus and energy, you can be certain that you can achieve whatever you set your mind and heart to. That’s the kind of confidence that will have you taking consistent action toward your big dreams and goal. What are already confident about? I’d love to hear about it.  Meet Melissa Kay A mother, lover of life, personal growth, and good coffee, Melissa has a passion for inspiring and helping others to dream big and take action. She owns and runs Melissa Kay Coaching where she focuses on empowerment and lasting transformation, so her clients can create a life and business they truly love. Ways to work with Melissa Join the Project REAL - join the waitlist Work with Melissa VIP style - 1:1 coaching packages Join the free Facebook community - for daily content and great conversations The truth that nobody loves to hear - to be successful in business you need to be visible. That means getting your message out to the world, getting in front of the right audiences and showing up in a way that potential clients can get to know you. The task can seem daunting, especially if you’re just starting out. I won’t sugarcoat it, there will be a steep learning curve and a whole lot of courage required. But we have options, too many options perhaps, to be seen and heard so being visible is not only possible, it’s highly accessible to just about anyone. That means you too. In this week’s blog I want to offer you the understanding of why it feels so damn hard to promote yourself and your business, the 3 Golden Rules for Visibility Success, and how you can work out for yourself where you should be focusing your time and energy. It’s too overwhelming, I’ll just do nothing instead There’s a lot of noise, there’s competition, it’s a busy marketplace, especially online. Gone are the days that you simply pop your details in the yellow pages (remember those giant books) and customers start calling you. Reality check - very few people are actively looking for you - you need to reveal yourself to them. Nowadays it’s important to stand out, to show up with conviction and do one hell of a marketing job (most likely not your strength) in addition to providing a quality service or product. No wonder I want a margarita by the end of the day. And with marketing not your forte, where do you even begin? Do you Facebook it, Instagram, LinkedIn, Youtube, Clubhouse? Do you start a blog, a podcast, a group? Do you need to go networking? Sadly, I can’t tell you the best strategy for you but there are plenty of gurus who will tell you either need to ‘do it all’ or that their thing is THE thing. Here’s MY thing that I know for sure… it can be incredibly overwhelming which leads to super unproductive thoughts and behaviours. Any of these sound familiar?
Between the plethora of different ways to be seen and heard and the lack of self-belief or confidence that many experience, it’s often easier to do very little. At the bottom of this blog I’ll share access to my 21 Ways to get in front of your ideal clients in 2022. This is no ordinary list designed to leave you with a bunch of options and no plan. In fact it will help you work out for yourself what approach to visibility is going to suit you best. You definitely don’t have to do it all and if there’s something I’m passionate about it’s taking the overwhelm out of life and business.  The 3 Golden Rules to Getting Visible No matter where and how you decide to begin increasing your visibility, there are 3 things to keep in mind. #1 Quality over quantity You’re no doubt a busy human being and so am I. Growing an audience involves providing quality information and opportunities to relate. Never is it about wasting precious time or filling in gaps with irrelevant stuff. Does that mean you shouldn’t post a pic of your cat or share about the holiday you’re on. NO! If you're allowing your audience to get to know you, that’s perfect. On the other hand if you are hiding behind pretty quotes written by some dude that died a hundred years ago or you feel compelled to share about your lunch everyday when it has no relevance to your business, you might want to develop a better strategy. The bottom line is keep it relevant to your life, your business and of course your ideal audience. Then others will want to see and hear you. #2 Consistency is key This one often gets debated because of #1. Let me explain it this way though. You need to be there for your audience in a way that they can connect. If you only show up once a month with a sales pitch, that won’t cut it. If you start being consistent and then disappear for 5 months, people will not consider you a reliable source. Consistency doesn’t mean every day or 5 times a day, even when you’ve got nothing to say. What it does mean is often enough (with quality content) to build and maintain relationships. What would happen if you told your romantic interest that you were only going to be there when you 100% felt like it or when you needed something from them? Be consistent in a way that shows you actually care and your visibility will increase. #3 Be true to yourself The best way to grow your visibility is to be yourself. That might feel like a scary proposition but not only is it the most sustainable way to be, it is the most attractive way to be, to magnetise your ideal clients. Give up the notion that you can please everyone and gather people around you who share similar values and attitudes. ‘Don’t be Vanilla’ as they say. The reality check on this one is that you are bound to piss someone off along the way, no matter what you do. The great news is that it’s actually in your best interest to repel those people who would never work with you anyway. Be you, be a genuinely good person with a good intention and that energy will shine through to attract the right people. NOW, keeping those 3 golden rules in mind, grab yourself a copy of my latest download ‘21 Ways to Get in Front of Your Ideal Clients in 2022’ and get a plan that works for you. In the pdf you’ll find the obvious, a list of options for getting more visible, but more importantly there are some great questions to help you evaluate your choices and focus your energy. Want to talk to me about leveling up your confidence and visibility this year? Send me a message or jump on the waitlist for the next round of Project REAL >> details here.  Meet Melissa Kay A mother, lover of life, personal growth, and good coffee, Melissa has a passion for inspiring and helping others to dream big and take action. She owns and runs Melissa Kay Coaching where she focuses on empowerment and lasting transformation, so her clients can create a life and business they truly love. Ways to work with Melissa Join the free Facebook community - for daily content and great conversations Visit VIP 1:1 Coaching - Premium Support Group coaching How to avoid wasting your time and money OK, so the likelihood of death is minimal, but the chances of wasting your time and money may be higher than you think. Hiring a coach will change your life and/or business! Check this top 7 list to make sure your life will be changing for the better and not just leaving you disappointed and out of pocket. If you’re considering working with a coach as we approach the new year (or anytime really), here are some of the common mistakes to avoid when finding the right one. #1 Choosing the wrong type of coach There is a 'right' type of coach for everyone but there are many different kinds to choose from. Mindset coaches, business coaches, manifestation coaches, holistic coaches, kick-butt, high energy coaches, stress release coaches, career coaches, female-only coaches, healer coaches, health coaches, coaches for specific skills and the list goes on. What do you actually need? Coaching with compassion and insight, I intuitively get to the depth of things and will challenge you to be your best and hold you accountable. My goal is to get you what you want, on your terms, in a way that works for you. Most of my clients work with me on mindset, empowerment, confidence, clarity and planning, manifestation, emotional mastery and taking life and/or business to the next level. #2 Choosing the cheapest in town All coaching is an investment in you. You must be prepared to invest mentally, emotionally, financially and give it adequate time and energy. Be wary of coaches that do not charge sufficiently for their services. This can be an indication that they either lack experience, confidence to get results or don’t properly value their services. If you are serious about getting the best results from your coaching, do not base your choice on price alone. #3 Choosing someone 'just like you' Choosing a coach who is at the same place in life as you are, who thinks and acts similarly might be comfortable and easy, but it won't get you results. They won't be able to challenge you to grow as they haven't achieved it for themselves. If you want to create something more for yourself, look for a coach who has the kind of life or business you want, who's done what you need to do. Don't choose a coach based on them being a lovely person, you're not paying for a new friend.  #4 Choosing the wrong amount of support Be willing to commit to your success. Rome wasn't built in a day and all that! Whilst occasionally a simple tweak in the right direction is all that is needed, most clients require a few months of coaching for sustainable and lasting results, and enough time for them to fully implement. This is simply the nature of being human, we need time to install new habits and reinforce new patterns. You can have a breakthrough in five minutes but the follow-through is another story. Say a big, fat yes to your goals and commit to a longer-term coaching package for full support and accountability. #5 Choosing the wrong style of coaching Do you prefer structure or a more individual approach? There are many coaches who genuinely want to help but lack the life experience, empathy or intuition to adapt to each client's unique needs. They follow a set structure to the tee, as provided by the institution they trained with. This can work well for some, but for many, it lacks the personal touch and slows down the transformation process. With my clients I use proven tools and processes, choosing the most appropriate and best ones for my client's situation. Sessions are totally customised to suit individual needs, goals and personalities. I like a fluid approach within a proven system, always with an intention to get you to your desired goal on the fastest track possible for you. #6 Ignoring Intuition A great connection with your coach is essential. You have to like and trust your coach for the journey to be enjoyable and to get great results. If you feel it’s a personality mismatch or you don’t feel at ease with them, try another coach. The coach may also say that they don’t see the relationship being a good fit, and may recommend another coach. It's important that you feel optimistic and excited to be working with your coach. #7 Failing to check them out Ok, a little stalking 101 goes a long way. It's important to check out your potential coach. Visit their website, suss out their social media, watch their videos, find out what they're about, what kind of life do they live, what kind of business do they have, what do others say about them? Read their testimonials and get on the phone to have a conversation with them, asking any questions before you sign up. Oh and here's a super important bonus #8 that definitely deserves a mention - Does the coach have a coach? The answer should be a resounding yes! Make sure the coach you choose walks their talk, engages their own coach, fully believes in their own profession and knows first-hand the benefits of coaching. Has this helped you consider your options for coaching? Did I miss something? Let me know so I can add it to the list. If you’re considering coaching in the near future, let’s have a chat. You can book a free 20-minute call with me and I’m happy to answer any questions you may have.  Meet Melissa Kay
A mother, lover of life, personal growth, and good coffee, Melissa has a passion for inspiring and helping others to dream big and take action. She owns and runs Melissa Kay Coaching where she focuses on empowerment and lasting transformation, so her clients can create a life and business they truly love. Ways to work with Melissa Join the free Facebook community - for daily content and great conversations Visit VIP 1:1 Coaching - Premium Support Group coaching Don’t you just love the energy of January? Many people are making new year's resolutions and setting goals, it’s a time of new beginnings and fresh starts. The sad truth is though, many of those who are setting goals, won’t follow through on them. Have you ever set a goal that you were all excited about and then let it slide? I've done it more than once. There are abundant reasons and excuses why people don't follow through on their goals but the bottom line is that the goal was not compelling enough, it wasn’t exciting enough, or perhaps it was not in alignment with who they truly are. They start out all enthusiastic but then, when the goal feels too hard, too overwhelming, too uncomfortable, they give up. To up your chances of success, set goals that are aligned to who you are, who you want to be, and how you want to live your life. So for each of the goals you set for 2022, ask yourself my top 7 questions, to make sure they're going to be something that you do actually follow through on. Question #1 Do I absolutely want this? The first question to ask is; Is this goal really important to me? Know what your values in life are, what's most important to you, and set your goals accordingly. The bottom line is if you don't care about it that much, you're not going to do it. You can ask about your goal; if no one else cared whether or not I achieved this goal, would I still want to do it? Now you might be thinking, well, why would I even set a goal that I don't care about? I'll get to that in a minute, but it happens a lot. Read on... Question #2 Am I chasing my own dreams? Your goal should truly be yours. It's got to be something that YOU want, not something that someone else wants for you, or what someone else thinks you should do. This is especially important if you're in business, as we are constantly bombarded with information by others and experts, telling us what to do, how we should do it, who we should do it with. You’ve been influenced all your life by parents, teachers, school, friends, family, religion, community. Many ideas of what you should do in life have been handed to you. Perhaps you should get a steady career, or you should buy a house, or get married and have 3.5 children. Great goals as long as they are truly yours. The point here is that you've got to get honest with yourself about what your truest desires are for your life. Figure out what's actually important to you so that any goal you set, is truly your goal, not what your partner thinks you should do, or what your mother thinks you should do. The question… is this goal truly mine? Question #3 Why do I want it? You must have strong enough reasons backing your goal otherwise you're not going to follow through. Make sure you're convinced! Sell yourself 100% first on the idea and remember that it's not necessarily the outcome, that makes you happy, but the feelings you will have by getting there. For example, if you want an extra $30,000 this year, it's what you are going to do with the $30,000 that excites or inspires you, not the numbers in your bank account. Digging down a level deeper, it's not even the things that you are going to do or have with that extra money, it's the feeling you think having or doing those things is going to give you. There's always a desired feeling underlying anything that you go really after in life. Your 'why' or your 'reasons' for wanting to achieve a goal are your driving force, so make sure they are compelling. Ask yourself, why do I really want this?  Question #4 Is my goal a stretch or a back-breaker? Set your yearly goals with the right amount of difficulty. Goals that are too easy won’t keep you inspired or excited, and goals that are too difficult, become very overwhelming and disheartening. Mindset is a huge part of succeeding at your goal and you want to set yourself up for a sense of progress and a feeling of achievement. I am all for dreaming up big but don't set goals that are likely impossible to achieve in the next year. Keep a bigger vision but break it down into some smaller goals, and milestones along the way that you can reach sooner. Goals that are too big, too soon, become disheartening and you won't follow through. The question… Am I going too easy or too hard on myself with this goal? Question #5 Is my end destination clear so I don’t get lost? What exactly are you aiming for with your goal? Be as detailed and specific as you can. To get healthy or make more money is not specific. Throw in some numbers, describe what getting healthy means to you and define it clearly until you will know, without a doubt, what the outcome is. Define what healthy (or wealthy or happy) means for you. It could mean that you want to compete in the next Ironman challenge, or that you just want to get up off the couch without moaning and groaning. It was a big variation there, so just determine what it is for you. Ask has my goal got the detail that I need to make a specific plan to achieve it? And to know when you've achieved it? Clarity is key and if you don’t have it, you won’t be compelled to keep working on your goal. Question #6 Does my goal light me up? Or will my goal help me feel the way I want to feel? Sometimes we set goals that are kind of empty and don’t help us feel the way we want to feel or live how we want to live. If you set a goal that requires you to work 80 hours a week yet one of your top values is family time, it’s probably not going to be a good match for you. Make sure your goals make you feel good about what you’re doing and who you are being. Question #7 Have I got some steps in place? It’s essential to create a plan of action for every goal you set. Ask yourself, do I have at least the first few steps written out for this goal? You don't have to know every single step of the way, but you've got to work out how you're going to get started. So the question here really is what are at least three actions I can take right now to get started on this goal? Write out your steps as much as you can, so when it's time to get started, you know exactly what to do. It's going to be far less stressful, confusing, or overwhelming. Follow these steps and ask these questions for each of your goals. Get the clarity and drive that you need in place, and you’ll be off to a flying start. And... Ditch any goals that don’t meet up to your personal values and how you want to live your life. Feel free to let me know what you’re working on, I’d love to hear about your goals for the coming year. And if you want to get into action on your visibility and biz goals for 2022, so you can show up more, have a greater impact and make more money, I invite you to join the waitlist for Project REAL. Details and waitlist here. 
Meet Melissa Kay A mother, lover of life, personal growth, and good coffee, Melissa has a passion for inspiring and helping others to dream big and take action. She owns and runs Melissa Kay Coaching where she focuses on empowerment and lasting transformation, so her clients can create a life and business they truly love. Ways to work with Melissa Join the free Facebook community - for daily content and great conversations Visit VIP 1:1 Coaching - Premium Support Group coaching What’s going to get you better results in your life and biz next year?
I’m encouraging you to choose option a. and set aside just a couple of hours to plan at least the month of January, now. The reason is this… there is a strong collective energy of new beginnings and ‘make shit happen’ in January, that you simply don’t get at other times of the year. You’d be silly to not take advantage of it and build the powerful momentum that can carry you through the first few months of 2022. Even if you are on holiday until mid-January, having your goals and plan ready now, to hit the ground running when you get back, is the way to begin the year with clarity and purpose, and avoid wasting precious time. If you’re feeling discouraged about goal-setting because your plans and goals in 2021 didn’t work out like you’d hoped they would (join the club), there are a few things you must know that will help you feel better. 2021 will soon become the past and you can leave it there. When it comes to dreaming big and setting your new goals, it will be so much easier for you to create an amazing 2022 if you don’t drag all your mistakes, failures and shortcomings from this year with you. The past does not equal the future. Get excited about the clean slate that a new year offers you.  Take your 2021 stuff-ups and turn them into your 2022 goals. Whatever things didn’t work out so well for you this year, get a new perspective on them. Didn’t have enough clients in 2021, make it your top goal for 2022. Didn’t lose those extra 10kgs, your new goal for next year is to make it happen. This will switch your focus from what didn’t work into what you are going to do next. Turn your negative focus into proactive positivity. Challenge yourself to turn this year’s stuff-ups into next years successes. Remember you need a clear plan and a bit of discipline to make things happen. Hoping and wishing is not a strategy and rarely produces great results. Find the clarity you need (there are lots of ways to do this), make a step-by-step plan, and set routines and structure that will help you stay on track. A little time to plan now saves you a ton of time, energy and tears down the track. If you are feeling stressed, overwhelmed or worn out by the year just gone, do these 3 things and I promise you will feel better. Let it go and let’s get excited and strategic about what is possible for 2022. If you want to get into action on your biz goals for 2022, so you can show up more, have a greater impact and make more money, don’t forget we have our free annual event on Aligned Goal-setting on Thursday 9th December in Australian Women in Business. Join in and get those goals set so when next year rolls around, you’ll be ready to go.  Meet Melissa Kay A mother, lover of life, personal growth, and good coffee, Melissa has a passion for inspiring and helping others to dream big and take action. She owns and runs Melissa Kay Coaching where she focuses on empowerment and lasting transformation, so her clients can create a life and business they truly love. Ways to work with Melissa Join the free Facebook community - for daily content and great conversations Visit VIP 1:1 Coaching - Premium Support Group coaching Too often life and business becomes overwhelming and dissatisfying with all the things we should be doing. And it defeats the purpose of both which is to enjoy. Whilst there will always be stuff that just needs to get done, you can help yourself out by ensuring the goals you set are ones that are going to light up your life instead of stress you out. Follow these guidelines and you’ll be following a path true to your heart in no time. Clear values make goalsetting easy Do you know your highest and truest values? The things that are most important to you? If you’re not sure, just look at where you spend most of your time, energy and money. That’s where you’ll find the answers because those things are obviously meaningful to you. If one of your top values is family time, don’t set goals that require you to work 80hrs/week. You’ll burn out and be miserable. If one of your top values is to have a greater impact through your work, you might set a goal such as creating an online course, writing a book, learning public speaking, starting a FB group, or a goal to scale your business. Do not set any goals that are in contradiction to your top values. Follow your own guiding star in life and business Do not set any goals are that are not in alignment with your personal top values or don’t make you feel good. This can be achieved by always staying true to yourself and following your own guiding star. What is your guiding star? For example, if your guiding star is making a lot of money you could easily start an Amazon business selling $2 plastic bits out of China for $20 apiece. If your guiding star was time freedom to be with your family, you might set goals that allow you to take school holidays and weekends off. My actual guiding star is genuine positive impact - to help others to better their lives and so the goals I set in my business all align to that, first and foremost. Meaningful contribution is high on my values list. What guiding star do you want to follow in your life or business? Follow your guiding star, it’s the MOST important thing to consider.  Do not set goals that are arbitrary or soulless Ask yourself “is this goal truly mine or am I chasing something because that’s what everyone else is doing?” Sometimes what we think is important turns out to be imposed upon us by others. It might be social idealisms, your parent’s values, your partner or even your friends. Do you really want the house and 2.5 kids? Is a six-figure business your true value? If you’ve lived your life according to a set of standards created by someone else, chances are you've experienced feeling 'out of alignment' plenty of times. Some sure signs of not honouring your highest values include feeling anger, blame, criticism or despair toward yourself. These are called the ABCD's of negativity and you'll experience them after you have failed to follow through on something you should have done. How many 'should' goals have you got and do you know what YOUR highest values are? How much better would your life become if you lived in alignment with what matters the most to you? Feel good goals are the only way to go Your goals need to help you achieve the feelings you want to feel. Think about how you want to FEEL in your life or business next year. Excited. Alive. Inspired. Productive. Accomplished. Important. Successful. Capable. Adventurous. Making a difference. Growing. Freedom. Creative. Innovative. There is always a feeling you are hoping to achieve that underlies any goal you set. For example, take the common goal of having a 6-figure business. It’s a great milestone and I’m all for setting money targets, however...
I used to have this goal, like so many others, but it was an empty thing to be chasing. It did not keep me going on the days when things felt tough. I ditched it and focused on goals that would create impact, inspire myself and others, contribute to the world, excite me, challenge me (as growth is high on my values list) and allow me to be creative. And you know what, when you show up consistently to your compelling and aligned goals, the money will follow. So how do you want to FEEL and is working toward your goal going to give you that feeling? Know what you love, know what’s most important to you. Know what YOU want and how you want to feel. Set your goals accordingly and you won’t go wrong. If you need any help with sorting through the noise to identify your truest values and make a plan for 2022 that will serve you on your own terms, send me a message or check out the exciting Black Friday special on 90-minute intensives.  Meet Melissa Kay
A mother, lover of life, personal growth, and good coffee, Melissa has a passion for inspiring and helping others to dream big and take action. She owns and runs Melissa Kay Coaching where she focuses on empowerment and lasting transformation, so her clients can create a life and business they truly love. Ways to work with Melissa Join the free Facebook community - for daily content and great conversations Visit VIP 1:1 Coaching - Premium Support Group coaching Are feeling excited to take on a new year? I love this time as I start to make fresh plans and dream up my next bigger, bolder goals. You can’t ever dream too big but you can dream too much and neglect to get the details in place. I’ve been guilty of this plenty of times. So I’ve put together my 9 essential success steps (divided into three easy categories) for any goal to help you take those beautiful dreams, clearly set the goal and set yourself up to follow through with conviction. #1 - Don't leave your idea as a vague idea One of the worst things you can do is keep your goal general or vague because you won’t know the most effective actions to take to get you there. It’s similar to wanting to go to the Opera House but putting Sydney as your destination into the nav system. You’re going to spend most of your time sitting in noisy traffic wondering what turn to take. Clarity is a must. Once you’re clear on what you actually want, write it out as a specific goal. “I reach the Opera House by 7 pm on 22/12/2021 to see the show in the Joan Sutherland Theatre.” This way you know where you want to end up, by when you need to be there, and what the final result looks like. Specificity is a must. With clarity and specificity comes the ability to make a step-by-step plan. You’ll be able to decide when you need to start travelling, the right route to get there, any potential roadblocks or obstacles, and the resources you’ll need. You make step-by-step plans every day for a multitude of small goals, mostly without thinking too much about them. Your bigger goals are no different. Planning is a must.  #2 - Commit to your goal Now you’ve got a goal you must commit to it by deciding that it will happen. There’s no turning back and whatever comes your way, you will do it. Any goal you’ve set needs to be compelling enough that you won’t give yourself any easy outs. Make up your mind that your goal is a ‘must’ not just something that would be nice if you happen to pull it off. Decisiveness is a must. Setting goals is easy but finding the courage to follow through on them can be tricky. You might have to dig deep and find that desire and drive inside of you that will make it happen. The important thing here is that when you do find your courage, you need to keep reminding yourself of how brave and capable you are, and fully commit to making it happen. Learn how to work through the inevitable resistance and take action on your goal, even when it scares you. Courage is a must. Remind yourself daily of what you are working toward and the results you are committed to. Keeping your goal written where you can see it is a great idea, or a vision board or speaking out your goal. Now you’ve got your brain on board for taking action and keeping your goal at the forefront of your mind. Focus is a must. #3 - You must have accountability to yourself and others Make sure your goal has a deadline so you’re newfound focus stays on track and you feel the pressure of needing to get things done. You may be one of the rare super organised types but the majority of people will take a week to do something that they have a week to do. Keep your deadlines (timelines, datelines, timeframes) realistic and achievable but definite. Timeframes are a must. Share your goal, your commitment and your timeframe with someone you trust, an accountability buddy or your coach. External accountability works wonders when it comes to taking action, so make your big, bold goals known. Accountability is a must. Finally, have a reward waiting for you when you reach your goal. This is a great motivator along the way and an important part of celebrating your achievements once you get there. Your reward can be anything that is meaningful to you. Celebrating is a must. Clarity, commitment and accountability will make all the difference to following through on your bold goals. I’ve tried to skip some of these steps in the past and got a first-hand lesson in how to effectively waste time and effort. What are you dreaming up for next year? I would love to hear about it if you want to connect with me on socials or send me an email. If things are still feeling a little vague for you, why not grab a copy of my free ‘Design Your Life’ workbook and get planning. Dream up something big and beautiful and then follow the nine steps above to bring it to life.  Meet Melissa Kay A mother, lover of life, personal growth, and good coffee, Melissa has a passion for inspiring and helping others to dream big and take action. She owns and runs Melissa Kay Coaching where she focuses on empowerment and lasting transformation, so her clients can create a life and business they truly love. Ways to work with Melissa Join the free Facebook community - for daily content and great conversations Visit VIP 1:1 Coaching - Premium Support Group coaching |
Melissa Kay SchulzCoffee lover, mother, salsa dancer and mindset coach for entrepreneurs. 
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