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Do you sometimes (or often) hear that inner voice that has so much to say about why you shouldn’t go after your dream or try something new? It’s always talking you down or coming up with ‘reasons’ why you can’t. When fear or doubt come into play as a result of taking a risk or uncertainty, there’s always that inner voice. Its name is the inner critic and it’s trying to tell you something but not necessarily the truth. That inner voice is merely a part of you that wants to keep you safe and out of harm’s way. The message is, ‘this doesn’t feel safe and therefore it’s not good.’ This part of you is focused only on safety and doesn’t see the benefits of what you are about to do. So it will scream loudly in protest. So how to do we overcome this resistance and keep taking action? Think for yourself You can choose what thoughts and feelings you decide to buy into. To believe the inner critic or not. If I tell you that your hair is green when it’s clearly not, you will simply shrug off my comment and possibly think I’m a bit looney. If I keep insisting your hair is green, you may laugh at my insanity or feel sorry for my lack of knowledge. Know your truth and keep focused on the outcomes you want to achieve. Most of the time the inner critic is misinformed. It’s telling you something’s not safe when really there is little or no danger. Don’t blindly believe it. Think for yourself and look for evidence to support otherwise.  Acknowledge your inner critic Have ever tried to ignore your inner critic? When you try to ignore the voice it usually gets louder. Or if you do succeed in shutting it up, you can bet it’ll be back again soon. I teach this in-depth in some of my programs but here’s the quick tip that I want to share with you today about your inner critic. You must realise that your inner critic is like a small child that won’t be reasoned with – think 3 or 4 years old. It doesn’t care for logic, just wants its needs met. And what are those needs? Simple, to be heard, to be acknowledged. If you ignore it, it just screams louder than before. I like to acknowledge and make space for my inner critic, meeting her with a non-emotional curiosity until she gets bored of harassing me or says something so ridiculous that I simply can’t believe her. Remember, just because your inner critic has got things to say, doesn’t mean it’s true and it’s still up to you to decide whether you’re going to believe it or not. Don’t fight with your inner critic When you stop trying to suppress and ignore that inner voice and just allow it to speak, you immediately stop the struggle, stop the fight. The benefit of this is that you don’t get all emotional and stressed. It doesn’t mean you accept what it saying to be true, you just acknowledge its existence in a non-emotional way and from that place, you can decide to believe it or not. When simply allowed, that voice will soon run out of things to say and will become quiet of its own accord, or will say something so ridiculous that it loses all credibility. The key here is to not be tricked into the drama. Be the calm, cool, non-emotional, stable parent to your inner critic having a 3-year-old tantrum and it will soon subside. With a little practice in responding this way, it’s over in a minute and you can get on with your day. So the next time your inner critic tells you, ‘you won’t be good at it, you’re not good enough, you don’t even know what you’re doing, or you’re too old, too fat or your hair isn’t quite right to be successful’, learn to allow it with a non-emotional curiosity and it will soon pass. It’s not about what that fearful voice says, it’s about how you respond to it. Then decide for yourself what action you are going to take toward your big dreams and goals.  Meet Melissa Kay A mother, lover of life, personal growth, and good coffee, Melissa has a passion for inspiring and helping others to dream big and take action. She owns and runs Melissa Kay Coaching where she focuses on empowerment and lasting transformation, so her clients can create a life and business they truly love. Ways to work with Melissa Join the Accelerator program - join the waitlist Work with Melissa VIP style - 1:1 coaching packages Join the free Facebook community - for daily content and great conversations
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If I were less emotional I’d probably get a lot more done. But I’m not a robot, I’m a fully functioning human being, the real deal, messy as it can be at times. There is often a super high expectation placed upon the entrepreneur to be this high-performance machine, avoiding the lows at all costs and being productive all the damn time. How unrealistic are we? Perhaps you even hold yourself to that expectation (you wouldn’t be the first).  Your emotions are never wrong! [ “What? But Melissa you are always saying I need to stay high vibe, feeling good.” ] Ok, let me explain. Your emotions always have a message for you and the more you look and listen, the easier it’ll be to work through the low times. Heck, nobody wants to stay in that feel-crap place right? I get it, you do want to be productive and moving toward your dream. Running in circles or having your feet stuck in cement just ruins your shoes. But you never want to make your emotions wrong. That is a surefire way to cut off your connection to your own truth and honest communication with yourself and others. Nobody wins with this approach. Instead of feeling ‘wrong’ when you’re not feeling good, many of the world’s best coaches suggest that you get curious instead. Learn to be ok in whatever the feeling is and search for the message it’s delivering. This is far more useful and can actually help you solve the problem. Accepting your emotions and working with them rather than fighting them is going to feel so much easier and get you back to a powerful, beautiful, productive state sooner. You will bypass the suffering and get better at managing your emotions. Which is good for your sanity and your business. It’s helpful to remember that whatever uncomfortable emotion you are experiencing, you’ve probably been there before. Instead of crumbling every time things go wrong, you can remind yourself that you will get through it. You have evidence in your past, that the sun will shine again.  So you’ve got this! You’ve been through it before and you can handle it today and if it happens again in the future, you’ve got that too. Which if you really think about it, is kind of exciting. Permission granted to feel any and all emotions, and tune in to what’s going on rather than suppressing it, and the confidence that whatever may come, you can handle it. Now you are mastering your emotions and building resilience and not wasting so much time and energy pretending everything is hunky-dory (for my overseas readers, that means alright) when it’s not. To sweeten the deal, the more you take charge of your emotional world, the more you‘ll begin to embrace the idea that you can, in fact, respond to events in your life, however you choose. But let’s dive into that next time. Want to learn more about emotional mastery? Connect with me in my community where we have great conversations about empowered life and business.  Meet Melissa Kay A mother, lover of life, personal growth, and good coffee, Melissa has a passion for inspiring and helping others to dream big and take action. She owns and runs Melissa Kay Coaching where she focuses on empowerment and lasting transformation, so her clients can create a life and business they truly love. Ways to work with Melissa Join the Accelerator program - join the waitlist Work with Melissa VIP style - 1:1 coaching packages Join the free Facebook community - for daily content and great conversations Do you want to do more in your life and business but that pesky (or perhaps crippling) self-doubt keeps getting in your way? There’s a pretty high chance you’re nodding your head right now or letting out a sigh of agreeance. Well, friend, I feel your pain. But I know you were made for more, so let’s have a look at some no-nonsense ways that you can boost your self-belief today and get started on those amazing projects and dreams of yours. Remember who you are at your core Put aside, for a few moments, your doubts, fears and negativity, and answer this question: Who am I when I’m free of my limiting thoughts and behaviours? If this feels tricky for you, simply describe who you will be and how you will show up in the world, when you’ve got unshakeable self-belief. What kind of things will you do, what kind of thoughts will you think, how will you behave, dress, take care of yourself, what will you create and much abundance will you be welcoming into your life? Get loud and proud about it Create some great affirmations that speak directly to who you truly are, who you will be and the achievements you have in mind. It doesn’t matter if you don’t fully believe it yet, it’s time to declare your intention to the Universe and stop hiding behind your fears. Write it, speak it, get excited about it. I’d recommend going next level and turning your affirmations into incantations. Pump up your favourite high-vibe music, get into a powerful emotional state, and give your affirmation an energy that can not be denied.  Surround yourself with like-minded people You’ve most likely heard this before but it’s worth repeating. Spend less time (or no time) with people, in places, or contemplating information that makes you feel bad or doubt yourself. Get a new friend, business buddy or mastermind group where everyone is working on improving themselves. Find support and encouragement and give it to others. Read the books that inspire you and help you see what is all possible in this big world. Imagine how your self-belief will radically improve when you surround yourself with positivity daily. Manage your inner critic Got an overactive inner critic that never seems to shut up? There are ways to manage it and take charge, you don’t have to suffer. You could try the ‘ignore it’ approach, though personally, I’ve not had much success with this one. The reason being is that your inner critic is like a 4-year old. You ignore it and it just screams louder than before. I like to acknowledge and make space for my inner critic, meeting her with a non-emotional curiosity until she gets bored of harassing me or says something so ridiculous that I simply can’t believe her. (Stay tuned for next week’s blog if this is something you need to deal with). Either way, just because your inner critic has got things to say, doesn’t mean it’s true and it’s still up to you to decide whether you’re going to buy into it or not. Just don’t be tricked into her attempt to create drama. Be open to what you’re afraid of It’s much healthier to address your fears as you become aware of them and pave a clear path forward than suppress your fears and hope they decide to no get in the way. The same lessons will keep repeating in your life until you deal with what’s underlying your struggles. So just get on with working through your fears. You may need help to do this (if it’s really scary for you) and that’s perfectly ok. Find enough courage to take the first step and get the help you need. A coach, a counsellor, a therapist (lots of options here) or a mentor can help you work through your fears. This is how you will set yourself free from the doubt and begin believing that you have what it takes. Risk is not a dirty word You want to up your belief in yourself then you’ve got to challenge yourself daily. Take a chance on yourself and do something that you consider scary or risky. Start small and work your way up to bigger things. There’s no faster way to build your self-belief than to get out there and prove it to yourself. Don’t kid yourself about what growth is Building your self-belief requires you to grow and develop as a person. Unfortunately, there are no short-cuts and you are the only one who can do the work. Party pooper aren’t I? I’ve seen many people get excited about personal development when it’s the high-energy fun stuff, the positivity and the wins. The moment things get difficult or they experience a major setback, they run screaming for the hills. Get real about the journey because the sooner you can accept that it’s a bumpy road and that failure will be a part of it, the quicker you will reach your destination. PS When you get to your exciting new destination, you’ll celebrate and then set a course for the next level of growth and you’ll need a new level of self-beleif to match it. Rinse and repeat. You’ve got what it takes to make your dreams come true. But I can say it all day long, you are the one who has to believe it. So let’s get to it! Use the suggestions above and let me know how you go. Connect with me on socials and if you’re serious about going after your dreams and goals, building your confidence and upgrading your life, join me in my new free Facebook group ‘Out with the Ordinary’. We are all stepping up big time!  Meet Melissa Kay A mother, lover of life, personal growth, and good coffee, Melissa has a passion for inspiring and helping others to dream big and take action. She owns and runs Melissa Kay Coaching where she focuses on empowerment and lasting transformation, so her clients can create a life and business they truly love. Ways to work with Melissa Join the Accelerator program - join the waitlist Work with Melissa VIP style - 1:1 coaching packages Join the free Facebook community - for daily content and great conversations Feeling overwhelmed is such a common thing, especially if you are a solopreneur or small business owner, and definitely when you're starting out and the learning curve is steep. Here are three things, from my personal experience and working with many clients, that you absolutely must-do if you are going to get out of what can feel like a never-ending cycle of overwhelm and anxiety.
Getting clarity is always the place to begin Anytime you start to feel anxious or overwhelmed, you must do whatever you can to find clarity. I know how hard it can seem in the moment but there are simple processes you can follow to take the guesswork and confusion out of it. The main idea is that you’ve got to know what you want to achieve, and you've got to set some specific goals. Next, take stock of what's going on at the moment and ask yourself, “is this what I want, is it working, is it not working?” If what you want and what you’ve currently got isn’t the same, the next question is “what actions can I take to start closing the gap?” With clear goals and a defined gap, you can actually make a plan. Having clarity gives you a road map, like step by step instructions that you simply need to follow to start creating some momentum.  Organisation will save your sanity You know you need to take action on your plan to close the gap, right? It’s called implementation. Most people make a plan, get excited, take a few actions, and then give up or forget all about it. Why is this? I believe the primary reason for this is the lack of organization around the implementation of your plan. The thing is, you can't just do a little bit here and a little bit there, and expect it all to fall into place. Your plan, which breaks down into smaller steps, has to be logical, manageable, and actionable. So you need organization around your life or your business goal. Many people are afraid of structure and systems, thinking it will limit them somehow, but they are the same people who are struggling and stuck in overwhelm. Break your goal and plan down into tiny manageable steps and schedule them into your day, week, month. Learn to be effective with your time and set boundaries for both yourself and others around your goals. Change the core of your business, you. If you want to create something new in your life or business, you are going to have to do things differently. If what you're doing now was already working, you would already be done. You’ll need to grow as a person, get out of your comfort zone and be willing to transform yourself, so you can step up and do it differently. It requires you to let go of what is not working and put something new in its place. You are releasing and then rebuilding with something better, something more functional. The tricky part, where many come undone, is that transformation of self requires courage, persistence, and determination. Creating lasting change is something you may need help to achieve if those big changes require guidance and accountability. But transformation is a big part of stepping out and stepping up. You are amazing already but you’ve got to grow if you want to step out of anxiety and overwhelm. If you were already who you need to be, to have what you want, you'd already be doing it. In a nutshell, Step 1 - getting clarity empowers you and enables you to make a step-by-step plan. Step 2 - getting organized around your plan, allows you to actually follow through. Step 3 - getting transformed, being willing to do what it takes, will get you better results. When you act on these three steps, you will find more flow and alignment, you will create momentum and like magic, the overwhelm is gone. You can do this! If you need more guidance or help why not book in for a free chat and we’ll work out the best strategy for you.  Meet Melissa Kay A mother, lover of life, personal growth, and good coffee, Melissa has a passion for inspiring and helping others to dream big and take action. She owns and runs Melissa Kay Coaching where she focuses on empowerment and lasting transformation, so her clients can create a life and business they truly love. Ways to work with Melissa Join the Accelerator program - join the waitlist Work with Melissa VIP style - 1:1 coaching packages Join the free Facebook community - for daily content and great conversations “I’m ready” she said, “This year I’m going to make it happen.” “Make what happen?” I asked. “Everything” she said, “more money, grow my business, get healthier, improve my relationship. This is my year!” “Ok then,” I said, “let’s get started.” “Yes, great,” she said. We looked at each other for a moment as the reality set in and she realised she had no idea how to begin. The excitement was quickly replaced by uncertainty and overwhelm, the enthusiasm with the dread of change. Whilst it doesn’t normally happen in a single moment (I’m exaggerating for effect), it definitely does happen that big aspirations can quickly become disheartening if you don’t clearly break them down. The changes you are looking to make in your life will be easier, the more specific you can be. Here are some of my favourite ways to take an exciting but vague idea such as ‘get fit or more money’ and turn them into action plans. Let’s face it, if she’d had an action plan, she’d know exactly where to begin.  #1 Ask good questions if you want good answers Whatever questions you are putting your brain to work on, it will find answers for you. Questions such as ‘Why don’t I have enough clients? Why am I so fat? Why does this always happen to me?’ are the kind of questions that will give you crappy answers. When it comes to your new and exciting ideas for your life, be sure to ask great questions. ‘How many ideal clients would I love to work with each month? What would be a happy, healthy, ideal weight for me? How can I best turn this around? What is the lesson for me in this experience?’ Asking good questions will give you more clarity and the ability to set specific goals or targets. Knowing that you want to make $100k in your business this year is very different to just wanting more money. It allows you to begin to make a plan. #2 Know what lights you up Start getting specific about your goals and check-in with each one to make sure it’s something that feels good. Goals that are out of alignment with who you want to be or how you want to live your life are incredibly difficult to follow through on. So the idea of ‘making more money’ becomes a specific income goal or a certain number of clients that will help you bring in that amount. If your top value is family time but your new goal will require 60 hours a week of your time, it’s not a good match. So know your values first. You might need a different goal or just a different strategy to achieve your goal. #3 Brainstorm the crap out of it Now comes the fun part. Sadly, many people skip this part and then wonder why they feel stuck on their goals, with no real idea on how to make them happen. Brainstorming your action steps is no more complex than grabbing a piece of paper and a pen and writing down any and all ideas that pop into your head. I love to use my big whiteboard for this and stay on my feet so my energy and creativity are flowing. Set aside a solid block of time, go nuts with ideas, nothing is too crazy. Afterward you will come back with a more realistic mind and choose the options that look, sound and feel the best. After a brainstorming session you will have no shortage of action steps to take. You can put them in order and get started. Will all of them pan out? Perhaps not, but any action is better than no action at all as it creates momentum, and momentum brings results and new ideas. You can speed up the brainstorming process by working with a coach or mentor who has already achieved what you want to achieve. They know the steps to take and will be able to guide you in a way that works for you. “Let’s break it down” I said, “what are you really aiming for here?” And so it begins. Get clarity and be specific about your goals. Make sure your goals are in alignment with your values. Brainstorm your ideas and come up with an action plan that allows you to get started today. Good luck on your big aspirations! An invitation to you: If you’re a woman in business pursuing big ideas this year, I invite you to join the Accelerator Experience and get into action. In this 10-week group program, I’ll help you to show up more, have a greater impact and make more money in your business, doing what you love. Jump in the next round starting mid February 2021. In an intimate group of like-minded women, you’ll find the guidance, support and accountability you need to stop feeling uncertain and overwhelmed, and make it happen. Join the Accelerator Experience today. Enrolments are open so secure your spot now or get in touch if you have further questions. Meet Melissa Kay A mother, lover of life, personal growth, and good coffee, Melissa has a passion for inspiring and helping others to dream big and take action. She owns and runs Melissa Kay Coaching where she focuses on empowerment and lasting transformation, so her clients can create a life and business they truly love.  Ways to work with Melissa Join the Accelerator program - join the waitlist Work with Melissa VIP style - 1:1 coaching packages Join the free Facebook community - for daily content and great conversations What is my life purpose? It’s a hot question these days and one that many can ponder for decades and never feel satisfied with the answer. Ask me how I know? :) Life purpose has become some big cosmic question that we are supposed to know the answer to and feel lacking when we don’t. If you want questions to help you figure it out or stimulate ideas, just google ‘how do I find my life purpose?’ You’ll get things like…
I love all these questions and find them helpful to create more insight, however, the question that it really boils down to is ‘what feels important to me and how do I want to use my time whilst I’m here on this Earth?’ And here’s an interesting side tidbit… According to one NLP model of psychological development, our true ‘life purpose’ or what’s most important to us, doesn’t begin revealing itself until we are well into our 40’s. Once we’ve matured somewhat and established ourselves in the world, learnt about relationships with others, discovered our values and real identity, only then, does our purpose become apparent. And then, only if we’ve handled the rest well. If you’d told me that when I was 35 I would have argued with you, but now that I’m 45 and still trying to figure stuff out, it sounds about right. If you are like most people, what’s important to you and what your passionate about will evolve throughout your lifetime. So why are you so hung up on finding that one thing? That magic, all-mighty life purpose. If this is something that has you a little (or a lot) stumped, read on.  Feel the fear and do it anyway… or don’t There are two types of people who want to do bigger and better things with their life but aren’t sure where or how to begin. There are those who have some ideas, feel the fear and uncertainty around it, and then get stuck in doubt and procrastination. They ask...
Then there are those who have some ideas, feel the fear and uncertainty around it, and decide to take action anyway. They are willing to give it a go and trust that whatever happens, some good things will come from it. Which one are you? Are you frozen with fear and uncertainty or are you taking action, creating something new? So many people I talk to are unable to move forward because they let the confusion and doubt rule the day. It's like they are waiting for some lightbulb moment when it will all become clear and then… …then they will know exactly what to do. Decide your purpose for yourself (don’t wait for lightning to strike) Did you know you can decide your purpose and your mission for yourself? That you don't have to wait for it to strike you in some major epiphany? When you decide on something (anything really) it's going to put you into action and you are going to live a much more meaningful life than if you are sitting back and waiting for the answers to come. Note, they probably won't magically fall out of the sky and hit you on the head anyway. If you choose something that gets you excited and you commit to it, you're going to have a fabulous time along the way. If down the track, you decide that's not really it and you want to change your mind, that's perfectly okay too. You haven't wasted that time. Most likely you’ve...
All of which, sounds pretty good to me! So, if you are one of those people sitting around waiting for that neon sign, please don't wait another moment. Start asking yourself some good questions, decide what you've got a passion for at the moment and go for it. Something is better than nothing and over time, you will know what you want to do. Stop wasting precious time trying to get it perfect right now. So what’s your latest exciting idea that will better your life? You can’t get it wrong, the only way you will truly miss out is if you do nothing. For my awesome ladies in business who are pursuing big ideas, come check out the Accelerator Experience and get into action on your biz goals for 2021. If you’re wanting to show up more, have a greater impact and make more money, I invite you to join me in the next round beginning February 2021. In an intimate group of like-minded women, you’ll find the guidance, support and accountability you need to stop feeling uncertain and overwhelmed, and make it happen. Join the Accelerator Experience today. Enrolments are open so secure your spot now or get in touch if you have further questions.  Meet Melissa Kay A mother, lover of life, personal growth, and good coffee, Melissa has a passion for inspiring and helping others to dream big and take action. She owns and runs Melissa Kay Coaching where she focuses on empowerment and lasting transformation, so her clients can create a life and business they truly love. Ways to work with Melissa Join the Accelerator program - join the waitlist Work with Melissa VIP style - 1:1 coaching packages Join the free Facebook community - for daily content and great conversations Setting Clear and Aligned Goals - 7 Questions to Ask Yourself I love the energy of January. Many people are making new year's resolutions and setting goals, it’s a time of new beginnings and fresh starts. I've got some big plans for 2021 and I hope that you do too. Many of the people who are setting goals, won’t follow through on them. Have you ever set a goal and then let it slide? I've done it more than once. There are abundant reasons and excuses why people don't follow through on their goals but the bottom line is that the goal was not compelling enough, it wasn’t exciting enough, or perhaps it was not in alignment with who they truly are. They begin all enthusiastic but then, when the goal feels too hard, too overwhelming, too uncomfortable, they give up. To up your chances of success, set goals that are aligned to who you are, who you want to be, and how you want to live your life. Here are my top 7 questions to ask yourself, to assess each of the goals you set, and make sure they're going to be something that you do want to follow through on. #1 Do I absolutely want this? The first question to ask is; Is this goal really important to me? Know what your values in life are, what's most important to you, and set your goals accordingly. The bottom line is if you don't care about it that much, you're not going to do it. You can ask about your goal; if no one else cared whether or not I achieved this goal, would I still wanted to do it? Now you might be thinking, well, why would I even set a goal that I don't care about? I'll get to that in a minute, but it happens a lot. Read on... #2 Only chase your own dreams Your goal should truly be yours. It's got to be something that YOU want, not something that someone else wants for you, or what someone else thinks you should do. This is especially important if you're in business, as we are constantly bombarded with information by others and experts, telling us what to do, how we should do it, who we should do it with. You’ve been influenced all your life by parents, teachers, school, friends, family, religion, community. Many ideas of what you should do in life have been handed to you. Perhaps you should get a steady career, or you should buy a house, or get married and have 3.5 children. Great goals as long as they are truly yours. The point here is that you've got to get honest with yourself about what your truest desires are for your life. Figure out what's actually important to you so that any goal you set, is truly your goal, not what your partner thinks you should do, or what your mother thinks you should do. The question… is this goal truly mine?  #3 Know why you want it You must have strong enough reasons backing your goal otherwise you're not going to follow through. Make sure you're convinced! Sell yourself 100% first on the idea and remember that it's not necessarily the outcome, that makes you happy, but the feelings you will have by getting there. For example, if you want an extra $30,000 this year, it's what you are going to do with the $30,000 that excites or inspires you, not the numbers in your bank account. Digging down a level deeper, it's not even the things that you are going to do or have with that extra money, it's the feeling you think having or doing those things is going to give you. There's always a desired feeling underlying anything that you go really after in life. Your 'why' or your 'reasons' for wanting to achieve a goal are your driving force, so make sure they are compelling. Ask yourself, why do I really want this? #4 Stretch but don’t put your back out Set your yearly goals with the right amount of difficulty. Goals that are too easy won’t keep you inspired or excited, and goals that are too difficult, become very overwhelming and disheartening. Mindset is a huge part of succeeding at your goal and you want to set yourself up for a sense of progress and a feeling of achievement. I am all for dreaming up big but don't set goals that are likely impossible to achieve in the next year. Keep a bigger vision but break it down into some smaller goals, and milestones along the way that you can reach sooner. Goals that are too big, too soon, become disheartening and you won't follow through. The question… Am I going to easy or too hard on myself with this goal? #5 Vague destinations make it easy to get lost What exactly are you aiming for with your goal? Be as detailed and specific as you can. To get healthy or make more money is not specific. Throw in some numbers, describe what getting healthy means to you and define it clearly until you will know, without a doubt, what the outcome is. Define what healthy (or wealthy or happy) means for you. It could mean that you want to compete in the next Ironman challenge, or that you just want to get up off the couch without moaning and groaning. It was a big variation there, so just determine what it is for you. Ask has my goal got the detail that I need to make a specific plan to achieve it? And to know when you've achieved it? Clarity is key and if you don’t have it, you won’t be compelled to keep working on your goal. #6 Set goals that light you up Will my goal help me feel the way I want to feel? Sometimes we set goals that are kind of empty and don’t help us feel the way we want to feel or live how we want to live. If you set a goal that requires you to work 80 hours a week yet one of your top values is family time, it’s probably not going to be a good match for you. Make sure your goals make you feel good about what you’re doing and who are being. #7 Goals must have some steps It’s essential to create a plan of action for every goal you set. Ask yourself, do I have at least the first few steps written out for this goal? You don't have to know every single step of the way, but you've got to work out how you're going to get started. So the question here really is what are at least three actions I can take right now to get started on this goal? Write out your steps as much as you can, so when it's time to get started, you know exactly what to do. It's going to be far less stressful, confusing, or overwhelming. Follow these steps and ask these questions for each of your goals. Get the clarity and drive that you need in place, and you’ll be off to a flying start. And... Ditch any goals that don’t meet up to your personal values and how you want to live your life. Feel free to let me know what you’re working on, I’d love to hear about your goals for this year. And if you want to get into action on your biz goals for 2021, so you can show up more, have a greater impact and make more money, I invite you to join me in the next Accelerator Experience beginning February 2021. In an intimate group of like-minded women, you’ll find the guidance, support and accountability you need to stop feeling uncertain and overwhelmed, and make it happen. Join the Accelerator Experience today. Enrolments are open so secure your spot now or get in touch if you have further questions.  Meet Melissa Kay A mother, lover of life, personal growth, and good coffee, Melissa has a passion for inspiring and helping others to dream big and take action. She owns and runs Melissa Kay Coaching where she focuses on empowerment and lasting transformation, so her clients can create a life and business they truly love. Ways to work with Melissa Join the Accelerator program - join the waitlist Work with Melissa VIP style - 1:1 coaching packages Join the free Facebook community - for daily content and great conversations If someone has done it before you, then you can be certain you have the ability to make any of your wildest dreams come true. This is great news right! So what is getting in your way? Is it a lack of:
Most of us can identify with at least one of these, if not a few. The key is to make whatever you are going for an ‘absolute must’ in your life. If your goal doesn’t have a higher status than ‘it would be nice’, chances are you won’t see it through. You can make any dream an absolute must by:
 #1 Vague ideas are not compelling enough Take time to get clarity on your goal. What is it specifically? Get healthy or make more money is not specific. Throw in some numbers, describe what getting healthy means to you and define it clearly until you will know, without a doubt, what the outcome is. It’s not rocket science, it just takes times and asking the right questions. Clarity is key and if you don’t have it, you won’t be compelled to keep working on your goal. #2 Stay driven by tapping into the depth of your ‘why’ Know why you want your goal and dig deep until you have a reason that is so compelling, there is no way you are going to quit. If you’re reasons aren’t strong enough, you simply will not follow through. ‘I want to make $100,000 this year because it will look good in my bank account’ is very different to, ‘when I make $100,000 this year I can finally take my dream family vacation’. Or it will allow me to employ a new team member or it will create more freedom to be with my children. What’s the feeling you are going for, that lies underneath your goal? #3 Plan every step so even your wildest dream becomes achievable Break it down, break it down, break it down. It’s easy to give up on big goals when they feel overwhelming. You won’t always know every step of the way when you first begin working on your goal but get the first few actionable steps laid out in front of you. As you work on it, the next steps will reveal themselves. As you can see the steps, write them out and break them down further until they become so easy, it’s a matter of putting one foot in front of the other. Create the feeling that it’s possible by breaking down your big goals into little steps. Trusting in your big dream and finding the confidence to move forward on it, will all happen when you do these 3 things. I’d love to hear from you, what big, scary goal have you set for this year? And if you want to get into action on your biz goals for 2021, so you can show up more, have a greater impact and make more money, I invite you to join me in the next Accelerator Experience beginning February 2021. In an intimate group of like-minded women, you’ll find the guidance, support and accountability you need to stop feeling uncertain and overwhelmed, and make it happen. Join the Accelerator Experience today. Enrolments are open so secure your spot now or get in touch if you have further questions.  Meet Melissa Kay A mother, lover of life, personal growth, and good coffee, Melissa has a passion for inspiring and helping others to dream big and take action. She owns and runs Melissa Kay Coaching where she focuses on empowerment and lasting transformation, so her clients can create a life and business they truly love. Ways to work with Melissa Join the Accelerator program - join the waitlist Work with Melissa VIP style - 1:1 coaching packages Join the free Facebook community - for daily content and great conversations Ready to ENJOY life more? Spice things up a little or do a complete fun overhaul? How does one go from living a quiet life of desperation to living an inspiring, powerful, intentional life? I think about this a lot! How do we do it? It’s something I keep obsessing about because I have a deadly fear of mediocrity. How do you function with all your responsibilities, relationships, children, a business to run, and still feel like you are truly ALIVE AND IN LIFE? Well, I don’t have it all figured out but I promise you I’m getting profoundly better at this for myself and my clients. In fact, it’s a big part of my brand new 2021 business (more on this soon). Today I want to offer you three of my top tips for feeling joyful and alive in your life:  #1 Make sure that you plan fun things into your life. So damn simple and somehow so easily forgotten. What is it that brings you tremendous joy? Sit with that question for a few minutes, write down a few things and then make sure that you are doing them on a regular basis. Is it a date night with your lover or a trip to the beach? Is it a yoga class or reading a book with a cup of tea? Or is it something a bit more exciting like pole dancing perhaps? Whatever it is, stop it with the self-neglect, putting your things last, and put it in your diary now. You have to make it happen. #2 When you are doing those fun things make sure you are present in the moment with them. I don’t know how many times I’ve gone to the beach and still been working in my head or still stuck in the stresses I currently have. When you are doing the fun things, let the rest go. Commit to being there fully, so that when you get home from the beach you don’t feel like nothing has changed. Engage fully in the activity so that you actually reap the benefits of that joy or fun or excitement. #3 Practice gratitude every day. Now you might say “oh Melissa not gratitude again, surely that doesn’t fix everything?” But let me tell you why I always come back to it. When you make time to acknowledge the good in your life, the things you’re grateful for, the things that are working, the perception of your life will quickly shift. If you currently feel like life is a bitch, if you feel like you’re living that mediocre, boring, dull, monotonous life, I promise you when you start to pay attention to the things that are good, you’ll start to feel differently. You’ll start to see more, and you may just recognise that it ain’t so bad after all. Most importantly, gratitude shifts your vibe and you’ll begin to attract more good things. Let me know how you go with this and if you need help making a plan on how to make your life more fulfilling so you can totally rock 2021, why not jump on one of my 90-minute strategy sessions this week. Just send me a message or you can find the booking link below. Whatever you do, don’t hesitate to reach out to me if you want some help on this. I hear you, I see you, I feel you and best of all I know that it can be different. With love, Melissa Book in for a 90-min strategy session here. Normally $450, on sale in January for only $250 with checkout code: alive 2021 P.S. If it turns out that you seriously have no joy your pleasure in your life whatsoever, well my recommendation would be to use that as a good kick up the bum. Tap into that dissatisfaction and decide that you’re gonna do something about it today. Nobody else well. Then get in touch.  Meet Melissa Kay A mother, lover of life, personal growth, and good coffee, Melissa has a passion for inspiring and helping others to dream big and take action. She owns and runs Melissa Kay Coaching where she focuses on empowerment and lasting transformation, so her clients can create a life and business they truly love. Ways to work with Melissa Join the Accelerator program - join the waitlist Work with Melissa VIP style - 1:1 coaching packages Join the free Facebook community - for daily content and great conversations How to turn this year’s failures into next year’s success Let’s be real right now. I’m a no BS kind of girl. What’s going to get you better results in your life and biz next year?
I’m encouraging you to choose option a. and set aside just a couple of hours to plan at least the month of January, now. The reason is this… there is a strong collective energy of new beginnings and ‘make shit happen’ in January, that you simply don’t get at other times of the year. You’d be silly to not take advantage of it. Even if you are on holidays until mid-January, having your goals and plan ready now, to hit the ground running when you get back, is the way to begin the year with massive momentum and avoid wasting precious time. Just do it! And if you’re feeling discouraged about goal-setting because your plans and goals in 2020 didn’t work out like you’d hoped they would (join the club), there are a few things you must know that will help you feel better.  2020 will soon become the past and you can leave it there. When it comes to dreaming big and setting your new goals, it will be so much easier for you to create an amazing 2021 if you don’t drag all your mistakes, failures and shortcomings from 2020 with you. The past does not equal the future. Get excited about the clean slate that a new year offers you. Take your 2020 stuff-ups and turn them into your 2021 goals. Whatever things didn’t work out so well for you this year, get a new outlook on them. Didn’t have enough clients in 2020, make it a top goal for 2021. Didn’t lose those extra 10kgs, your new goal for next year is to make it happen. This will switch your focus from what didn’t work into what you are going to do next. Turn your negative focus into proactive positivity. Challenge yourself to turn this year’s stuff-ups into next years successes. Remember you need a clear plan and a bit of a discipline to make things happen. Hoping and wishing is not a strategy and rarely produces great results. Find the clarity you need (there are lots of ways to do this), make a step-by-step plan, and set routines and structure that will help you stay on track. A little time to plan now saves you a ton of time, energy and tears down the track. If you are feeling stressed, overwhelmed or worn out by the year just gone, do these 3 things and I promise you will feel better. Let it go and let’s get excited and strategic about what is possible for 2021. And if you want to get into action on your biz goals for 2021, so you can show up more, have a greater impact and make more money, I invite you to join me in the next Accelerator Experience beginning February 2021. In an intimate group of like-minded women, you’ll find the guidance, support and accountability you need to stop feeling uncertain and overwhelmed, and make it happen. Join the Accelerator Experience today. Limited early bird enrolments and prices are open until 21st December only. Secure your spot now.  Meet Melissa Kay A mother, lover of life, personal growth, and good coffee, Melissa has a passion for inspiring and helping others to dream big and take action. She owns and runs Melissa Kay Coaching where she focuses on empowerment and lasting transformation, so her clients can create a life and business they truly love. Ways to work with Melissa Join the Accelerator program - join the waitlist Work with Melissa VIP style - 1:1 coaching packages Join the free Facebook community - for daily content and great conversations |
Melissa Kay SchulzCoffee lover, mother, salsa dancer and mindset coach for entrepreneurs. 
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