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Feeling overwhelmed is such a common thing, especially if you are a solopreneur or small business owner, and definitely when you're starting out and the learning curve is steep. Here are three things, from my personal experience and working with many clients, that you absolutely must-do if you are going to get out of what can feel like a never-ending cycle of overwhelm and anxiety.
Getting clarity is always the place to begin Anytime you start to feel anxious or overwhelmed, you must do whatever you can to find clarity. I know how hard it can seem in the moment but there are simple processes you can follow to take the guesswork and confusion out of it. The main idea is that you’ve got to know what you want to achieve, and you've got to set some specific goals. Next, take stock of what's going on at the moment and ask yourself, “is this what I want, is it working, is it not working?” If what you want and what you’ve currently got isn’t the same, the next question is “what actions can I take to start closing the gap?” With clear goals and a defined gap, you can actually make a plan. Having clarity gives you a road map, like step by step instructions that you simply need to follow to start creating some momentum.  Organisation will save your sanity You know you need to take action on your plan to close the gap, right? It’s called implementation. Most people make a plan, get excited, take a few actions, and then give up or forget all about it. Why is this? I believe the primary reason for this is the lack of organization around the implementation of your plan. The thing is, you can't just do a little bit here and a little bit there, and expect it all to fall into place. Your plan, which breaks down into smaller steps, has to be logical, manageable, and actionable. So you need organization around your life or your business goal. Many people are afraid of structure and systems, thinking it will limit them somehow, but they are the same people who are struggling and stuck in overwhelm. Break your goal and plan down into tiny manageable steps and schedule them into your day, week, month. Learn to be effective with your time and set boundaries for both yourself and others around your goals. Change the core of your business, you. If you want to create something new in your life or business, you are going to have to do things differently. If what you're doing now was already working, you would already be done. You’ll need to grow as a person, get out of your comfort zone and be willing to transform yourself, so you can step up and do it differently. It requires you to let go of what is not working and put something new in its place. You are releasing and then rebuilding with something better, something more functional. The tricky part, where many come undone, is that transformation of self requires courage, persistence, and determination. Creating lasting change is something you may need help to achieve if those big changes require guidance and accountability. But transformation is a big part of stepping out and stepping up. You are amazing already but you’ve got to grow if you want to step out of anxiety and overwhelm. If you were already who you need to be, to have what you want, you'd already be doing it. In a nutshell, Step 1 - getting clarity empowers you and enables you to make a step-by-step plan. Step 2 - getting organized around your plan, allows you to actually follow through. Step 3 - getting transformed, being willing to do what it takes, will get you better results. When you act on these three steps, you will find more flow and alignment, you will create momentum and like magic, the overwhelm is gone. You can do this! If you need more guidance or help why not book in for a free chat and we’ll work out the best strategy for you.  Meet Melissa Kay A mother, lover of life, personal growth, and good coffee, Melissa has a passion for inspiring and helping others to dream big and take action. She owns and runs Melissa Kay Coaching where she focuses on empowerment and lasting transformation, so her clients can create a life and business they truly love. Ways to work with Melissa Join the Accelerator program - join the waitlist Work with Melissa VIP style - 1:1 coaching packages Join the free Facebook community - for daily content and great conversations
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“I’m ready” she said, “This year I’m going to make it happen.” “Make what happen?” I asked. “Everything” she said, “more money, grow my business, get healthier, improve my relationship. This is my year!” “Ok then,” I said, “let’s get started.” “Yes, great,” she said. We looked at each other for a moment as the reality set in and she realised she had no idea how to begin. The excitement was quickly replaced by uncertainty and overwhelm, the enthusiasm with the dread of change. Whilst it doesn’t normally happen in a single moment (I’m exaggerating for effect), it definitely does happen that big aspirations can quickly become disheartening if you don’t clearly break them down. The changes you are looking to make in your life will be easier, the more specific you can be. Here are some of my favourite ways to take an exciting but vague idea such as ‘get fit or more money’ and turn them into action plans. Let’s face it, if she’d had an action plan, she’d know exactly where to begin.  #1 Ask good questions if you want good answers Whatever questions you are putting your brain to work on, it will find answers for you. Questions such as ‘Why don’t I have enough clients? Why am I so fat? Why does this always happen to me?’ are the kind of questions that will give you crappy answers. When it comes to your new and exciting ideas for your life, be sure to ask great questions. ‘How many ideal clients would I love to work with each month? What would be a happy, healthy, ideal weight for me? How can I best turn this around? What is the lesson for me in this experience?’ Asking good questions will give you more clarity and the ability to set specific goals or targets. Knowing that you want to make $100k in your business this year is very different to just wanting more money. It allows you to begin to make a plan. #2 Know what lights you up Start getting specific about your goals and check-in with each one to make sure it’s something that feels good. Goals that are out of alignment with who you want to be or how you want to live your life are incredibly difficult to follow through on. So the idea of ‘making more money’ becomes a specific income goal or a certain number of clients that will help you bring in that amount. If your top value is family time but your new goal will require 60 hours a week of your time, it’s not a good match. So know your values first. You might need a different goal or just a different strategy to achieve your goal. #3 Brainstorm the crap out of it Now comes the fun part. Sadly, many people skip this part and then wonder why they feel stuck on their goals, with no real idea on how to make them happen. Brainstorming your action steps is no more complex than grabbing a piece of paper and a pen and writing down any and all ideas that pop into your head. I love to use my big whiteboard for this and stay on my feet so my energy and creativity are flowing. Set aside a solid block of time, go nuts with ideas, nothing is too crazy. Afterward you will come back with a more realistic mind and choose the options that look, sound and feel the best. After a brainstorming session you will have no shortage of action steps to take. You can put them in order and get started. Will all of them pan out? Perhaps not, but any action is better than no action at all as it creates momentum, and momentum brings results and new ideas. You can speed up the brainstorming process by working with a coach or mentor who has already achieved what you want to achieve. They know the steps to take and will be able to guide you in a way that works for you. “Let’s break it down” I said, “what are you really aiming for here?” And so it begins. Get clarity and be specific about your goals. Make sure your goals are in alignment with your values. Brainstorm your ideas and come up with an action plan that allows you to get started today. Good luck on your big aspirations! An invitation to you: If you’re a woman in business pursuing big ideas this year, I invite you to join the Accelerator Experience and get into action. In this 10-week group program, I’ll help you to show up more, have a greater impact and make more money in your business, doing what you love. Jump in the next round starting mid February 2021. In an intimate group of like-minded women, you’ll find the guidance, support and accountability you need to stop feeling uncertain and overwhelmed, and make it happen. Join the Accelerator Experience today. Enrolments are open so secure your spot now or get in touch if you have further questions. Meet Melissa Kay A mother, lover of life, personal growth, and good coffee, Melissa has a passion for inspiring and helping others to dream big and take action. She owns and runs Melissa Kay Coaching where she focuses on empowerment and lasting transformation, so her clients can create a life and business they truly love.  Ways to work with Melissa Join the Accelerator program - join the waitlist Work with Melissa VIP style - 1:1 coaching packages Join the free Facebook community - for daily content and great conversations What is my life purpose? It’s a hot question these days and one that many can ponder for decades and never feel satisfied with the answer. Ask me how I know? :) Life purpose has become some big cosmic question that we are supposed to know the answer to and feel lacking when we don’t. If you want questions to help you figure it out or stimulate ideas, just google ‘how do I find my life purpose?’ You’ll get things like…
I love all these questions and find them helpful to create more insight, however, the question that it really boils down to is ‘what feels important to me and how do I want to use my time whilst I’m here on this Earth?’ And here’s an interesting side tidbit… According to one NLP model of psychological development, our true ‘life purpose’ or what’s most important to us, doesn’t begin revealing itself until we are well into our 40’s. Once we’ve matured somewhat and established ourselves in the world, learnt about relationships with others, discovered our values and real identity, only then, does our purpose become apparent. And then, only if we’ve handled the rest well. If you’d told me that when I was 35 I would have argued with you, but now that I’m 45 and still trying to figure stuff out, it sounds about right. If you are like most people, what’s important to you and what your passionate about will evolve throughout your lifetime. So why are you so hung up on finding that one thing? That magic, all-mighty life purpose. If this is something that has you a little (or a lot) stumped, read on.  Feel the fear and do it anyway… or don’t There are two types of people who want to do bigger and better things with their life but aren’t sure where or how to begin. There are those who have some ideas, feel the fear and uncertainty around it, and then get stuck in doubt and procrastination. They ask...
Then there are those who have some ideas, feel the fear and uncertainty around it, and decide to take action anyway. They are willing to give it a go and trust that whatever happens, some good things will come from it. Which one are you? Are you frozen with fear and uncertainty or are you taking action, creating something new? So many people I talk to are unable to move forward because they let the confusion and doubt rule the day. It's like they are waiting for some lightbulb moment when it will all become clear and then… …then they will know exactly what to do. Decide your purpose for yourself (don’t wait for lightning to strike) Did you know you can decide your purpose and your mission for yourself? That you don't have to wait for it to strike you in some major epiphany? When you decide on something (anything really) it's going to put you into action and you are going to live a much more meaningful life than if you are sitting back and waiting for the answers to come. Note, they probably won't magically fall out of the sky and hit you on the head anyway. If you choose something that gets you excited and you commit to it, you're going to have a fabulous time along the way. If down the track, you decide that's not really it and you want to change your mind, that's perfectly okay too. You haven't wasted that time. Most likely you’ve...
All of which, sounds pretty good to me! So, if you are one of those people sitting around waiting for that neon sign, please don't wait another moment. Start asking yourself some good questions, decide what you've got a passion for at the moment and go for it. Something is better than nothing and over time, you will know what you want to do. Stop wasting precious time trying to get it perfect right now. So what’s your latest exciting idea that will better your life? You can’t get it wrong, the only way you will truly miss out is if you do nothing. For my awesome ladies in business who are pursuing big ideas, come check out the Accelerator Experience and get into action on your biz goals for 2021. If you’re wanting to show up more, have a greater impact and make more money, I invite you to join me in the next round beginning February 2021. In an intimate group of like-minded women, you’ll find the guidance, support and accountability you need to stop feeling uncertain and overwhelmed, and make it happen. Join the Accelerator Experience today. Enrolments are open so secure your spot now or get in touch if you have further questions.  Meet Melissa Kay A mother, lover of life, personal growth, and good coffee, Melissa has a passion for inspiring and helping others to dream big and take action. She owns and runs Melissa Kay Coaching where she focuses on empowerment and lasting transformation, so her clients can create a life and business they truly love. Ways to work with Melissa Join the Accelerator program - join the waitlist Work with Melissa VIP style - 1:1 coaching packages Join the free Facebook community - for daily content and great conversations Setting Clear and Aligned Goals - 7 Questions to Ask Yourself I love the energy of January. Many people are making new year's resolutions and setting goals, it’s a time of new beginnings and fresh starts. I've got some big plans for 2021 and I hope that you do too. Many of the people who are setting goals, won’t follow through on them. Have you ever set a goal and then let it slide? I've done it more than once. There are abundant reasons and excuses why people don't follow through on their goals but the bottom line is that the goal was not compelling enough, it wasn’t exciting enough, or perhaps it was not in alignment with who they truly are. They begin all enthusiastic but then, when the goal feels too hard, too overwhelming, too uncomfortable, they give up. To up your chances of success, set goals that are aligned to who you are, who you want to be, and how you want to live your life. Here are my top 7 questions to ask yourself, to assess each of the goals you set, and make sure they're going to be something that you do want to follow through on. #1 Do I absolutely want this? The first question to ask is; Is this goal really important to me? Know what your values in life are, what's most important to you, and set your goals accordingly. The bottom line is if you don't care about it that much, you're not going to do it. You can ask about your goal; if no one else cared whether or not I achieved this goal, would I still wanted to do it? Now you might be thinking, well, why would I even set a goal that I don't care about? I'll get to that in a minute, but it happens a lot. Read on... #2 Only chase your own dreams Your goal should truly be yours. It's got to be something that YOU want, not something that someone else wants for you, or what someone else thinks you should do. This is especially important if you're in business, as we are constantly bombarded with information by others and experts, telling us what to do, how we should do it, who we should do it with. You’ve been influenced all your life by parents, teachers, school, friends, family, religion, community. Many ideas of what you should do in life have been handed to you. Perhaps you should get a steady career, or you should buy a house, or get married and have 3.5 children. Great goals as long as they are truly yours. The point here is that you've got to get honest with yourself about what your truest desires are for your life. Figure out what's actually important to you so that any goal you set, is truly your goal, not what your partner thinks you should do, or what your mother thinks you should do. The question… is this goal truly mine?  #3 Know why you want it You must have strong enough reasons backing your goal otherwise you're not going to follow through. Make sure you're convinced! Sell yourself 100% first on the idea and remember that it's not necessarily the outcome, that makes you happy, but the feelings you will have by getting there. For example, if you want an extra $30,000 this year, it's what you are going to do with the $30,000 that excites or inspires you, not the numbers in your bank account. Digging down a level deeper, it's not even the things that you are going to do or have with that extra money, it's the feeling you think having or doing those things is going to give you. There's always a desired feeling underlying anything that you go really after in life. Your 'why' or your 'reasons' for wanting to achieve a goal are your driving force, so make sure they are compelling. Ask yourself, why do I really want this? #4 Stretch but don’t put your back out Set your yearly goals with the right amount of difficulty. Goals that are too easy won’t keep you inspired or excited, and goals that are too difficult, become very overwhelming and disheartening. Mindset is a huge part of succeeding at your goal and you want to set yourself up for a sense of progress and a feeling of achievement. I am all for dreaming up big but don't set goals that are likely impossible to achieve in the next year. Keep a bigger vision but break it down into some smaller goals, and milestones along the way that you can reach sooner. Goals that are too big, too soon, become disheartening and you won't follow through. The question… Am I going to easy or too hard on myself with this goal? #5 Vague destinations make it easy to get lost What exactly are you aiming for with your goal? Be as detailed and specific as you can. To get healthy or make more money is not specific. Throw in some numbers, describe what getting healthy means to you and define it clearly until you will know, without a doubt, what the outcome is. Define what healthy (or wealthy or happy) means for you. It could mean that you want to compete in the next Ironman challenge, or that you just want to get up off the couch without moaning and groaning. It was a big variation there, so just determine what it is for you. Ask has my goal got the detail that I need to make a specific plan to achieve it? And to know when you've achieved it? Clarity is key and if you don’t have it, you won’t be compelled to keep working on your goal. #6 Set goals that light you up Will my goal help me feel the way I want to feel? Sometimes we set goals that are kind of empty and don’t help us feel the way we want to feel or live how we want to live. If you set a goal that requires you to work 80 hours a week yet one of your top values is family time, it’s probably not going to be a good match for you. Make sure your goals make you feel good about what you’re doing and who are being. #7 Goals must have some steps It’s essential to create a plan of action for every goal you set. Ask yourself, do I have at least the first few steps written out for this goal? You don't have to know every single step of the way, but you've got to work out how you're going to get started. So the question here really is what are at least three actions I can take right now to get started on this goal? Write out your steps as much as you can, so when it's time to get started, you know exactly what to do. It's going to be far less stressful, confusing, or overwhelming. Follow these steps and ask these questions for each of your goals. Get the clarity and drive that you need in place, and you’ll be off to a flying start. And... Ditch any goals that don’t meet up to your personal values and how you want to live your life. Feel free to let me know what you’re working on, I’d love to hear about your goals for this year. And if you want to get into action on your biz goals for 2021, so you can show up more, have a greater impact and make more money, I invite you to join me in the next Accelerator Experience beginning February 2021. In an intimate group of like-minded women, you’ll find the guidance, support and accountability you need to stop feeling uncertain and overwhelmed, and make it happen. Join the Accelerator Experience today. Enrolments are open so secure your spot now or get in touch if you have further questions.  Meet Melissa Kay A mother, lover of life, personal growth, and good coffee, Melissa has a passion for inspiring and helping others to dream big and take action. She owns and runs Melissa Kay Coaching where she focuses on empowerment and lasting transformation, so her clients can create a life and business they truly love. Ways to work with Melissa Join the Accelerator program - join the waitlist Work with Melissa VIP style - 1:1 coaching packages Join the free Facebook community - for daily content and great conversations If someone has done it before you, then you can be certain you have the ability to make any of your wildest dreams come true. This is great news right! So what is getting in your way? Is it a lack of:
Most of us can identify with at least one of these, if not a few. The key is to make whatever you are going for an ‘absolute must’ in your life. If your goal doesn’t have a higher status than ‘it would be nice’, chances are you won’t see it through. You can make any dream an absolute must by:
 #1 Vague ideas are not compelling enough Take time to get clarity on your goal. What is it specifically? Get healthy or make more money is not specific. Throw in some numbers, describe what getting healthy means to you and define it clearly until you will know, without a doubt, what the outcome is. It’s not rocket science, it just takes times and asking the right questions. Clarity is key and if you don’t have it, you won’t be compelled to keep working on your goal. #2 Stay driven by tapping into the depth of your ‘why’ Know why you want your goal and dig deep until you have a reason that is so compelling, there is no way you are going to quit. If you’re reasons aren’t strong enough, you simply will not follow through. ‘I want to make $100,000 this year because it will look good in my bank account’ is very different to, ‘when I make $100,000 this year I can finally take my dream family vacation’. Or it will allow me to employ a new team member or it will create more freedom to be with my children. What’s the feeling you are going for, that lies underneath your goal? #3 Plan every step so even your wildest dream becomes achievable Break it down, break it down, break it down. It’s easy to give up on big goals when they feel overwhelming. You won’t always know every step of the way when you first begin working on your goal but get the first few actionable steps laid out in front of you. As you work on it, the next steps will reveal themselves. As you can see the steps, write them out and break them down further until they become so easy, it’s a matter of putting one foot in front of the other. Create the feeling that it’s possible by breaking down your big goals into little steps. Trusting in your big dream and finding the confidence to move forward on it, will all happen when you do these 3 things. I’d love to hear from you, what big, scary goal have you set for this year? And if you want to get into action on your biz goals for 2021, so you can show up more, have a greater impact and make more money, I invite you to join me in the next Accelerator Experience beginning February 2021. In an intimate group of like-minded women, you’ll find the guidance, support and accountability you need to stop feeling uncertain and overwhelmed, and make it happen. Join the Accelerator Experience today. Enrolments are open so secure your spot now or get in touch if you have further questions.  Meet Melissa Kay A mother, lover of life, personal growth, and good coffee, Melissa has a passion for inspiring and helping others to dream big and take action. She owns and runs Melissa Kay Coaching where she focuses on empowerment and lasting transformation, so her clients can create a life and business they truly love. Ways to work with Melissa Join the Accelerator program - join the waitlist Work with Melissa VIP style - 1:1 coaching packages Join the free Facebook community - for daily content and great conversations |
Melissa Kay SchulzCoffee lover, mother, salsa dancer and mindset coach for entrepreneurs. 
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