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A little reality-check about being an entrepreneur – it’s not the easy path. Don’t believe what most people are shouting at you or showing you on social media. It’s frickin’ tough some days and nobody goes from zero to hero overnight or easily. Having your own business is a hugely rewarding path and yes, it can be the path to all your dreams come true. But it’s about as easy as me saying no to my morning coffee. You’ll need to grow and develop certain characteristics if you are going to make it as an entrepreneur.
Can you do it? You absolutely can! Lots of entrepreneurs give up too soon when the reality of building a business hits them because they think they don’t have what it takes to be successful. What they don’t realise is that NOBODY is naturally gifted with these traits. Nobody just naturally has a mindset for success  Essential #1 A clear vision (your what) Know what you want! Clarity is key and the more you can bring your vision to life in your mind, the faster you will bring it into your reality. You may not see every step of the way but get the details of your desired outcome as much as you can, and get started. Essential #2 A strong driving force (your why) Know why you want what you want. This is the number one thing that will keep you going when it feels tough. It must be something that is personal to you and preferably evoke strong emotions. Make it so compelling that there’s no way you’ll give up until you get it. Essential #3 A mindset for success Learn the mindset and habits of successful people. Think like an entrepreneur and treat your business like a real business (not a hobby). Remember it’s something you learn and improve upon, not something you’re born with. Google success mindset or hit me up for some free resources. Essential #4 A ton of resilience This is the part where you fall down, make mistakes, look silly perhaps and then you get back up and keep going. It’s highly unlikely that any of your downfalls along the way will be that serious or life-threatening, so the quicker you accept that it’s a part of the game, the better. Keep going! Essential #5 A commitment to your dream Be committed to your dream from day 1. If you’re starting a business with an ‘I’ll just build a website and see what happens’ kind of attitude, you won’t do what it takes to get things up and running. Decide and commit. Not everything works out but it’s not likely to work out unless you give it all you’ve got. Successful entrepreneurs have created themselves to be that way. They have worked on themselves, improved their mind, tried and learned, fallen down, picked themselves up again, invested in their personal growth as well as their business. It’s not always easy but it is definitely doable. They did it and they are no different to you. So don’t ever give up because you think you’re not good enough. All you need to do is stay honest with yourself about what you need to develop and most importantly, do something to make it happen. If you’ve got a new project or business that you want to get moving on, join me on the next round of my Accelerator program where I will personally help you to make it happen. Check out the 10-week Accelerator here or contact me for more information.  Meet Melissa Kay A mother, lover of life, personal growth, and good coffee, Melissa has a passion for inspiring and helping others to dream big and take action. She owns and runs Melissa Kay Coaching where she focuses on empowerment and lasting transformation, so her clients can create a life and business they truly love. Ways to work with Melissa Join the Accelerator program - join the waitlist Work with Melissa VIP style - 1:1 coaching packages Join the free Facebook community - for daily content and great conversations
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Your words are more powerful than you know. So how you talk to yourself is more important than you may know. And no-one is more critical or harsher with their words than you are to yourself. Ever heard yourself telling yourself that you’re not good enough, smart enough, young enough, old enough or beautiful enough? Ever hear that voice that is doubtful, fearful or criticising? Can’t do it, aren’t worth it, shouldn’t try it. Sometimes a subtle whisper and sometimes a roaring barrage of filthy, hurtful words, your self-talk can be incredibly damaging if you let it get out of control. If you’re someone who is critical of yourself, unkind to yourself or has ever said something to yourself that you’d slap a stranger across the face if they said it to you, read on. The 1, 2, 3 of switching to positive self-talk. Challenge your negative self-talk with some real evidence When you hear that critical voice speak up in your head, or for some it speaks out loud, it’s time to get back to the facts. Is there any truth at all to it? Ask if it’s actually true. Usually not, but that’s rarely enough to quieten the voice. The trick is to look for evidence to disprove the statement. There is always plenty of evidence but you mostly don’t see it because you’re too busy asking the wrong questions. You ask “why am I not good enough” and get answers for why you’re not good enough. What if you asked, “when are times in my life that I’ve done something I wasn’t sure I could do?” Your brain will get busy coming up with the answers aka. Evidence, for you. You are good enough, smart enough, strong enough, resilient enough and totally worth it. So challenge that voice by collecting the evidence that will put it in its place.  If a friend wouldn’t say it, neither should you Become a friend to yourself and DO NOT utter any words that a good friend wouldn’t say to your face or that you wouldn’t say them. Put your friend filter on your self-talk. It’s that simple. Practice compassion and kindness toward yourself instead of always giving yourself an over-the-top, completely unjustified, hard time. Especially if you are someone who has nasty, harsh self-talk, this is for you. Each time you hear the criticism piping up, ask yourself “would I speak like this to someone I love?” If the answer is no, then cut it out. Ask “would I allow someone else to speak to me like this?” Well, I hope the answer is always no, and cut it out! Apply your friend filter to your self-talk and watch how it transforms your words. Crowd out the negative self-talk It may take a bit of practice to catch your negative thoughts and self-talk but over time it will transform. You can speed up the process by adding in a daily dose of positive talk. Instead of waiting for opportunities to switch out of the negative talk, you can intentionally re-wire your brain to accept and even expect the positive. The easiest way is to practice a set of daily affirmations about yourself, that lift you up and praise your amazingness. Start with wherever you feel comfortable. Usually somewhere between ‘I am ok’ to ‘I’m a freakin rockstar!’ Remind yourself daily of how wonderful and capable you truly are and soon you’ll leave no space for the negativity in your head. The important thing to remember is that we all experience doubts and times when we don’t feel up to it. Your inner voice will have something to say, so best you train it to be kind, compassionate and encouraging instead of tearing you down. Watch your words and watch how you quickly feel better about yourself. If you’re having a hard time getting your thoughts and words under control, reach out to me for a chat about how I can help you quickly take charge. Meet Melissa Kay A mother, lover of life, personal growth, and good coffee, Melissa has a passion for inspiring and helping others to dream big and take action. She owns and runs Melissa Kay Coaching where she focuses on empowerment and lasting transformation, so her clients can create a life and business they truly love. Ways to work with Melissa Join the Accelerator program - join the waitlist Work with Melissa VIP style - 1:1 coaching packages Join the free Facebook community - for daily content and great conversations  I have ‘moments’ often where something isn’t going the way that I want it to and I lose my cool. This is especially true when the car in front of me is doing 80 in the 100 zone. Or situations where I start to feel sad or angry or frustrated or helpless. I'm okay with that because practicing resilience and getting better at managing yourself in any given moment doesn’t mean that you become immune to your feelings. And it doesn’t mean that you get to just avoid those feelings, or that you get to avoid the shitty situations that cause those feelings. It simply means that you bounce back quicker. You don’t get a free ticket out, but you get out faster. Like the ‘get out of jail free’ card in Monopoly. You still have to go there, but you don’t have to stay. Great right? Then you can get back to being your usual positive, happy or calm self quicker and get on with your day. The flow-on effect is that you get more done and you feel better more often. Your quality of life goes up dramatically. So here's what you can do if this is you too...There are a lot of ways that you can become more resilient, to manage yourself better in the moment, or to respond differently when things don’t work out the way you’d wanted. But nobody said it was easy. In fact, it’s something that takes practice. It’s a skill that you practice over and over again until you get good at it. Over the years I’ve gotten better at managing my emotions and coming back to myself quicker. But sometimes when I’m having ‘a moment’ I forget what I need to do. I just can’t even remember what I’m supposed to do! I might message my partner, expecting someone else to tell me what to do. His response is usually along the lines of “just take a deep breath, you know this will pass.” Such simple advice and usually works. So why is it that in the moment, with me knowing so much that I know, I can’t remember to take a deep breath and trust in the fact that this feeling will pass?  Well, the simplified answer is because when your brain is in a state of stress, you can’t think straight. You literally are not functioning the same way as when you’re in a relaxed and calm state. This means that what you know now when you’re calm, is not what you know when you’re stressed out and reacting from a place of emotion rather than responding from a place of logic. So if you ever have that experience where you lose your cool and you’d like to ‘get out of it faster’ here’s one of my favourite ways to begin building your bounce back muscle.
I hope this helps and wish you a wonderful and joyful week ahead. xoxo Melissa PS Need more help to feel better in your life? Don’t forget you can book a free strategy session with me anytime. Let’s have a chat and see if I can help you get back on track.  Meet Melissa Kay A mother, lover of life, personal growth, and good coffee, Melissa has a passion for inspiring and helping others to dream big and take action. She owns and runs Melissa Kay Coaching where she focuses on empowerment and lasting transformation, so her clients can create a life and business they truly love. Ways to work with Melissa Join the Accelerator program - join the waitlist Work with Melissa VIP style - 1:1 coaching packages Join the free Facebook community - for daily content and great conversations Are you running on empty and taking care of everyone and everything except yourself? I see it all around me and I’ve been guilty of it plenty of times. You know you should take better care of yourself but you’re too busy, too tired and too overwhelmed. If and when you do get a breather, you probably hit the couch for a Netflix fix or get lost scrolling social media. These are great options to tune out but they are far from cup-filling or stress-reducing. Fill that cup and feel better Filling your own cup first means making yourself more of a priority. A priority over others at times and that may not sit too well with you. If that’s the case, keep in mind that your self-care means not only will you feel better but you’ll be able to take even better care of others. When your cup is full you can operate as your optimal self. I don’t know about you, but I’m a much nicer person when I’m fully functioning and feeling good. You know you’re going to keep taking care of things, so now you have a choice to make. You can do it from an energised, feel-good place or you can do it from a place of resentment and bitterness, which is how we start to feel when we get worn out and still have so much to do. If you’ve decided to give filling your own cup a try, here are 5 suggestions that I’ve personally chosen for you if you’re feeling depleted and don’t know where to begin.  5 minutes of focused gratitude will change your life Start a gratitude journal in which you document each day at least 5 things that you are grateful for in your life. It need only take 5 minutes of your time. You can be grateful for people, things, experiences, places, or circumstances and once you get journaling, you won’t be short of ideas. Dedicating time each day to feel grateful will rapidly shift your vibe in the moment as well as your perspective of your life. It’s a real game-changer when it comes to filling up your cup and feeling good. To go deeper in your gratitude write a sentence about ‘why’ that person, place or thing makes you feel so damn grateful. Get moving on your goals Setting a new goal for yourself will get you excited about something and help you focus on what is good for you. If you’re feeling run down I recommend setting a health goal, so you are simultaneously doing good for your mind, body and energy levels. Start with something small and just a little bit of a stretch if you need to. Perhaps a 15-minute walk around the neighbourhood each day, or a morning yoga session. Make it a daily habit. If you’ve got something bigger in mind, go for it. The criteria are that it’s something you enjoy and that makes you feel great afterwards. Don’t forget your health goals can include exercise, food/nutrition, relaxation, sleep etc. Getaway with yourself for yourself A change of scenery can do wonders to break that feeling of monotony and the real gift comes when you go somewhere or do something by yourself, for yourself. Without a companion, you don’t have to take anyone else into consideration and are free to do as your heart desires. Book an overnight stay in a gorgeous hotel or a beach shack or take yourself to your favourite restaurant for dinner. How about a picnic in the park with your book or journal? Change something you can see for immediate effect Fill your cup instantly with a new outfit or a haircut that says ‘I am a woman who takes excellent care of myself.’ Investing in yourself in this way gives you an immediate result, a feel-amazing experience and sends a message to the Universe that you are worth it. A budget-friendly way to do this is to declutter your space. Get rid of everything you don’t need or want, or that makes you feel stressed or unhappy when you see it. Your bedroom, office and wardrobe are the best places to begin. You’ll feel so much better when it’s done and if you’re pushed for time, commit to just 10 minutes per day to work on it. A daily dose of me-time is not a luxury No matter how busy you are there are at least 10 minutes in your day that you can find to nurture yourself. Longer is better but start where you can. Gift yourself some me-time each and every day. Do whatever makes you feel good during and after that time. Read your book, take a bath, go for a walk, journal or stand on your head if that’s what does it for you. Tony Robbins says “if you don’t have 10 minutes for yourself, you don’t have a life.” You can do this! Me-time is not for scrolling social media, putting on the washing or calling your mum. Make it about you and be consistent with it every day. Now that you’ve got some ideas take 3 minutes to write a plan. What will you do and when will you do it? Decide now to give yourself the opportunity to fill your own cup and become a better functioning human being - for everyone’s sake. If you want more ideas download my free PD - Ignite Your Joy – The Ultimate Bucket List to Challenge Yourself for 32 ideas on ways to find that spark again. Simple, easy and even free suggestions to get you back on the journey to your inspired life.  Meet Melissa Kay A mother, lover of life, personal growth, and good coffee, Melissa has a passion for inspiring and helping others to dream big and take action. She owns and runs Melissa Kay Coaching where she focuses on empowerment and lasting transformation, so her clients can create a life and business they truly love. Ways to work with Melissa Join the Accelerator program - join the waitlist Work with Melissa VIP style - 1:1 coaching packages Join the free Facebook community - for daily content and great conversations |
Melissa Kay SchulzCoffee lover, mother, salsa dancer and mindset coach for entrepreneurs. 
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