|
She moved out with her two young kids, enough money to cover a few weeks rent on a small apartment near the beach and her clothes. The single parenting pension she received was barely enough to get by on and the freedom of a new chapter filled her heart simultaneously with both joy and dread. She was taking a chance on herself. She was taking a chance on a new dream. This particular story might not sound so appealing and by no means does your story need to be so drastic (or perhaps it does) but if you want something more, something better for your life, you WILL need to take a chance on yourself and your dreams. It’s saddening to see so many people with un-lived dreams and desires inside of them. They are waiting for permission to live them, or for it to somehow feel safe and comfortable enough to attempt. Many never bring their dreams to life. Dreaming is the easy part. They sit wishing, waiting, hoping for something to be different, but never doing anything about it. Full of excuses, that may even pass as valid reasons in their mind, life passes by, and dreams die. The excuses, which can feel so real and so personal, are actually common across the board, and get this, mostly not true!  Here are seven of the biggest dream killers Number 1. I don’t have time I wonder why some people have time to pursue their dreams but you don’t? After all, it is true that you’re too busy and you have no idea how you could possibly fit something else in. The secret (not so secret) is that you must make the time. It’s called setting priorities, not watching Netflix for two hours a day and instead, investing your time and energy into your dream goal. People who want something enough, are willing to let go of this easy to use excuse, and organize their life in a way that they ‘make time’ for their dreams. Number 2. I’m not good enough You, me and just about everyone else thinks this at one time or another, if not often. This one is a straight-up lie. Perhaps you haven’t yet acquired all the skills you need to make your dream a reality, but that idea that you are inherently not good enough… what a load of nonsense. Whatever you need to succeed, you can learn. Number 3. What will they think? What will who think? Your partner, your mum, your friends, complete strangers on the internet? Anyone who has your best interests at heart will support you to go after your dreams. Anyone else’s opinion doesn’t matter because, well, they don’t have your best interests at heart. Are you seriously going to ignore your dreams and goals because someone, who doesn’t care about you, might not like it? Number 4. That’s not what good people do This one has different flavours but underneath it’s all the same. You were raised in a certain way to believe certain ideas and most likely learnt that it was good to conform to the expectations of others, and society. Live your life in a certain way, strive for certain things, and behave in certain ways. Your beautiful goal might just not fit. Pursuing your dream, and all the time and effort that comes with it might mean you are not a good partner, mother, community member, etc… well, in the eyes of some. Though it can feel difficult to break free of these ingrained ideas, some on which you may be totally convinced of, it is still an excuse at the end of the day. Bottom line is, you don’t need anyone’s permission and you don’t need to justify your dream. Number 5. I’m not into goal-setting Yeah so, me neither. At least I never used to be. The reality is that turning a dream into reality requires a goal and a plan. If you say you want something but you’re not ‘into it’, sounds like an easy excuse. Here’s the thing about being a goal-setting type. There isn’t a type. There are people who do and people who don’t set goals. It’s a skill they’ve learnt, not a characteristic of their personality. Number 6. I’m afraid to fail An important distinction I’ve learnt about this excuse is that you are not afraid of failing, you are afraid of not being able to handle the consequences. Failure is a part of life, it’s often how we learn and grow. Did you give up on relationships after your first one didn’t go the distance? Was it failing or was it learning? What we are actually afraid of is that we won’t be able to handle, tolerate, or survive the fallout. But you know this is not true. You even have past evidence of your ability to handle situations that were totally crappy. It may not have been pleasant, but you are still alive. Thus you can and will handle it, no matter what happens. Number 7. It’s been done before You have a big, audacious goal but someone has done it before and you think ‘why bother’. The truth is, pretty much everything has been done before, which makes this one of the easiest excuses to step away from your dreams and convince yourself that it’s not worth it. If it’s a dream of yours and it hasn’t been done by you, then it hasn’t been done… by you. There are a hundred things that you go after every day that a billion other people go after as well. Money, good food, relationships, the latest style of smartphone, saving up for a holiday. What’s the difference? The good news is, if it’s been done before, then it’s very do-able. None of these favourite top 7 excuses have any truth to them when you break it down. Sure some of them need a bit of effort to get past, but you can totally do this if you choose to. So back to the mum with the two young kids and no money. She knew she wanted something more, something better. She put her excuses aside and took a chance on herself. In fact, since those early days back in 2013, I’ve cared for my children single-handedly, I’ve built a business that supports my family and I’ve continued to dream and set bigger goals. I’ve stopped caring what others think and stopped buying into the idea that I don’t have what it takes. I’ve done it and so can you. You only have one, precious life. So my final question to you is “why not live it?” If you’ve got dreams, it’s time to ditch the excuses and bring them to life. Meet Melissa Kay A mother, lover of life, personal growth, and good coffee, Melissa has a passion for inspiring and helping others to dream big and take action. She owns and runs Melissa Kay Coaching where she focuses on empowerment and lasting transformation, so her clients can create a life and business they truly love. 
0 Comments
Overwhelm, I've been there, I know what it feels like and it's really not a nice place to be. Overwhelm is such a common thing, especially if you are in small business and definitely when you're starting out and the learning curve is steep. Here are three things, from my personal experience and working with many clients, that you absolutely must-do if you are going to get out of what can feel like a never-ending cycle of overwhelm and anxiety.
Number one, get clarity. Anytime you start to feel anxious or overwhelmed, you must do whatever you can to find clarity. I know how hard that might seem in the moment but there are simple processes you can follow to take the guesswork and confusion out of it. The point is you’ve got to know what you want to achieve, you've got to have some goals in place. Then you've got to take stock of what's going on at the moment and ask yourself, “is this what I want, is it working, is it not working?” If what you want and what you’ve got isn’t the same, the next question is “what actions can I take to start closing the gap?” With clear goals and a defined gap, you can actually make a plan. Having clarity gives you a road map, like step by step instructions that you simply need to follow to start getting some momentum. Number two, get organized. You know you need to take action on your plan to close the gap, right? It’s called implementation. Most people make a plan, get excited, take a few actions, and then give up or forget all about it. Why is this? I believe the primary reason for this is the lack of organization around the implementation. The thing is, you can't just do a little bit here and a little bit there, and expect it all to fall into place. Your plan, which breaks down into smaller steps, has to be logical, manageable, and actionable. So you need organization around your life, your, or your business goal. Many people are afraid of structure and systems, thinking it will limit them somehow, but they are the same people who are struggling and stuck in overwhelm. Break your goal and plan down into tiny manageable steps and schedule them into your day, week, month. Learn to be effective with your time and set boundaries for both yourself and others around your goals. And number three, be willing to change, get transformed. If you want to create something new in your life or business, you are going to have to do things differently. If what you're doing now was already working, you would already be done. So you have to grow as a person, you have to get out of your comfort zone and be willing to transform, so you can step up and do it differently. All that requires you to let go of what is not working and put something new in its place. You are releasing and then rebuilding with something better, something more functional. The tricky part, where many come undone, is that transformation of self requires courage, persistence, and determination. Creating lasting change is something you may need help to achieve if those big changes require guidance and accountability. But transformation is a big part of stepping out and stepping up. You are amazing already but you’ve got to grow if you want to step out of anxiety and overwhelm. If you were already who you need to be, to have what you want, you'd already be doing it. In a nutshell, Step 1 - getting clarity empowers you and enables you to make a step-by-step plan. Step 2 - getting organized around your plan, allows you to actually follow through. Step 3 - getting transformed, being willing to do what it takes, will get you different results. When you act on these three steps, you will find more flow and alignment, you will create momentum and like magic, the overwhelm is gone. You can do this! If you need more guidance or help why not book in for a free chat and we’ll work out the best strategy for you.  I’ve been working for the last few weeks on a new business project with my partner and I found that the new ideas just weren't flowing. The inspiration and enthusiasm weren’t there. It can happen! There’s a saying that you should ‘look within for the answers’ but sometimes I think you’ve got to look without. My solution is to take myself out of the office, usually to a beautiful location, the ocean always works for me and just see and experience different things. More often than not, the ideas start to come. When you sit in the same spot and do the same thing and think the same thoughts, it’s highly unlikely you’ll come up with any new ideas. If you’re looking for new ideas for your life, for your business, or generally feeling stuck, you’ve got to expose yourself to new things. Get out of your little box, your little bubble, go out into the world and see what's happening. You can't just wait for that lightning bolt to strike you out of the sky, right? You can't wait for the answers to fall into your lap, you have to start searching. You can go out in the world or if you’re researching a new business idea, go online and look around because the more things that you expose yourself to, the different kinds of inputs that you receive, the more ideas will start forming for you. Your new, creative ideas, will be triggered or inspired by what’s already out there. So if you’re feeling stuck or stagnant, instead of sitting around staring at your navel, hoping that a brilliant idea just falls out of the sky, get out there and see what other amazing things that might trigger a spark of genius in you. xox Melissa PS If you're ready to get into action on your new life or business project and would like my support, let's chat and see if we're a good fit. I have one VIP coaching spot available for a July start and 2 spaces potentially opening up in August. PPS You can watch my on-location video of this below.  Let's stay connected online. Jump into my Facebook groups for great daily content and special giveaways or check out the Melissa Kay Coaching website for all the info on how coaching can help you transform your life and business.
It's so easy to get overwhelmed these days. I’ve done hundreds of strategy sessions over the years and I'd say about 90% of the people that I've spoken to have told me that overwhelm is one of the biggest challenges in their business. The truth is, we live in a very fast world where we are constantly bombarded with information. We set super high expectations of ourselves, and others are always telling us "you should be doing this, you should be doing that." It's a constant overload going on around us so it's no wonder we all get overwhelmed. There's too much to do, there’s not enough time, right? I think everybody can relate to some level. I've noticed there are two categories of people when it comes to feeling overwhelmed.
If you’re in the first category, there are two options. Number one is that you outsource, you get help. That's an easy, practical solution. Number two is that you cut back, you stop trying to do so many things. In the second category, there are a few things that you need to be looking at. If you're not managing your time effectively this always comes down to a lack of good planning and scheduling. Naturally, this requires clarity so you can actually make a plan. Once you've got a plan in place, you have to manage yourself. You have to show up and follow the plan and do the work, every day. So depending on what category you're in, it could be an external, practical solution, or it could be more internal work that needs to be done. Which solution do you need? External or Internal? Perhaps a bit of both? If you need to make changes that require personal growth and getting out of your comfort zone but you're not doing it, it's because at some level you're afraid of what the changes might mean. Solution >> get the help you need. Get serious about it, find a coach, or a mentor who can support you and hold you accountable. Here are 2 solutions that I can offer you right now 1. Grab a 90-minute strategy session with me this week at a super discounted price of only AUD197. Together we'll get crystal clear on a plan that is going to work for you. 2. Book in a free chat with me to learn how coaching can support you to make your dreams a reality and see if we are a good fit to work together. No need to struggle on alone, find the solution that works for you. xox Melissa  Let's stay connected online. Jump into my Facebook groups for great daily content and special giveaways or check out the Melissa Kay Coaching website for all the info on how coaching can help you transform your life and business.
|
Melissa Kay SchulzCoffee lover, mother, salsa dancer and mindset coach for entrepreneurs. 
Archives
May 2022
Categories |
RSS Feed