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It feels so good to know you are on track. When you are sure of where you’re headed, have set compelling goals and created a step by step plan to make them happen, you can’t help but feel excited. You have no trouble taking action and achieving top results. Sounds awesome right? Now let’s look at the more common reality. I talk to business owners and entrepreneurs every week and many of them feel uncertain about the direction of the business, overwhelmed or confused about what’s next. It’s like they’re going through the motions waiting to see what might happen. Or, if they’re just starting out, the excitement of their idea has faded as the reality of being in business kicked in. One thing they do know for sure, it’s neither exciting nor compelling. The good news is, it doesn’t have to be this like this (sounds cliche I know). But seriously, anyone is capable of creating or tapping into the vision they hold for the business and this is the number one place to start anytime you feel less than excited. When your vision is clear and compelling, everything else falls into place.Don’t sit around feeling stressed or miserable. Take one or more of the following actions and you’ll be back on track in no time.  Get your vision crystal clear If you’re feeling fuzzy, set aside an hour or a few, and go nuts, brainstorming all the ideas and details about what you want. Stay open during this process and let your creativity flow without rejecting any ideas, no matter crazy they might seem. Getting more practical and realistic happens later. First things first, dream a dream that’s big enough to excite you. Redefine your vision as needed As your business grows, things will change and you’ll learn and evolve alongside your business. Make sure you are checking in often and making adjustments as needed. How you thought it should be 12 months ago need no longer apply if it’s not working for you, or getting you out of bed in the mornings. It’s ok to let go of what’s not working so you stay inspired and excited. Set proper goals and stay focused In all areas of your business, well-defined goals equal clarity. Without them, you can’t make a plan of action and it’s difficult to follow-through and easy to give up. Hope is not a strategy and most importantly, when you’ve got clear goals and plans, the confusion and overwhelm goes away. If that doesn’t make being in business feel more exciting… then, I don’t know. By the way, do you know the number one cited reason for not having a clear and compelling vision? "I haven’t thought about it”. Ok then, get thinking and get excited because without it you’ll fall out of love with your business sooner or later. A little time invested in vision and planning now, will save you a lot of time and stress down the track. And if you need some help to set your compelling and aligned goals for 2021, check out the free goal-setting pop-up training I’m giving inside my Facebook community this week. It’s free and fun, and we’re all in it together, setting big, beautiful goals for an exciting year ahead.  Meet Melissa Kay A mother, lover of life, personal growth, and good coffee, Melissa has a passion for inspiring and helping others to dream big and take action. She owns and runs Melissa Kay Coaching where she focuses on empowerment and lasting transformation, so her clients can create a life and business they truly love. Ways to work with Melissa Join the Accelerator program - join the waitlist Work with Melissa VIP style - 1:1 coaching packages Join the free Facebook community - for daily content and great conversations
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Ever have those moments when you need to overcome the fear and procrastination and just get on with it? When I started working for myself I was afraid of so many things… promoting myself on social media, making phone calls, asking for money, meeting new people at networking events, and oh, video. I was terrified, in particular, of Facebook lives, and would have all sorts of seemingly valid excuses why I couldn’t do them. Then I worked with a real kickass coach (not for the fainthearted) who insisted that I do 30 Facebook lives in 30 days. Ignoring the feeling of dread in my stomach I agreed to the challenge. It was one of those moments when you say yes and then immediately wonder if you’ve lost your marbles. But he was absolutely right in that after you do 30 in 30, you’ll feel very differently about it. The truth is, years later, I still don’t love it, but I’ve learned how to manage my thoughts and emotions around it and just do it. I developed a series of steps that can be quickly done prior to any uncomfortable situation, to feel more confident and relaxed. Many of my clients use this 5-step formula to ease the nerves, interrupt their pattern and shift themselves into action.  Step 1 Take charge of how you feel Put yourself in a more resourceful emotional state by managing your thoughts and feelings. Force yourself to think about things that make you feel good or even easier, move your body to get your energy flowing again. Use your body in a powerful and confident way and soon enough, you’ll begin to feel it. Stand tall, put a smile on your face, lift your chest and notice the difference. In others words, physically snap out of it. Step 2 Think about what you’re grateful for This has to be, hands down, one of the easiest ways to feel better fast. Whilst alone, it may not help you feel prepared to speak on a stage or make that sales call, but as an important part of the 5-step formula, it serves to shift your vibe quickly. Step 3 Keep your eye on the prize Stay focused on the outcome you want to achieve, and do not entertain the thoughts of everything that might go wrong. See and feel yourself getting the result exactly as you want it to be. When you visualize yourself succeeding you are essentially practicing a successful outcome. Remember, when you practice something enough, you get good at it. Step 4 Focus on what actually matters What's the deeper purpose or reason you are doing this? Who are you serving and what kind of an impact do you want to have? We become overly nervous, afraid or stuck in procrastination when we are focusing on ourselves. What if I mess up, what if someone doesn’t like it, how’s my hair? Take the focus off yourself and put it where it matters most, what you are really there to do. Step 5 Tap into courage and go Think of a time you’ve done something amazing or found your courage, and with that in mind, count 5,4,3,2,1 and go! Who have you helped before, what achievement are you most proud of in your life, when did you feel afraid but stepped up anyway? Make a choice to go for it and don’t let yourself back out. The 5-step formula, with a little practice, can happen in under 2 minutes and can be used anytime you need to find more confidence and move into action. Here’s my old routine for Facebook lives:
This is an easy example but the formula can be applied to any moment of fear or indecision. Now I said this is my old Facebook live prep routine because I don’t need to do it anymore. That’s the great news, once you've done something a few times, the fears lessen. But we all start somewhere, so try it out the next time you find yourself procrastinating doing that thing you know you need to do. Perhaps your fears aren’t around making videos, they might kick in when it comes to making the offer, closing the deal, asking people for money (often a big one), building new business relationships, or revealing yourself on social media. Test out the 5-steps and let me know what happens. When you can take charge over the fear and move yourself into action, you’ll become unstoppable. That’s when you will show up consistently, serve fully, and make money in your business. And if you are thinking it’s time to show up more in your business, so you can have a greater impact and make more money, I invite you to join me in the next Accelerator Experience in January 2021. In an intimate group of like-minded women, you’ll find the guidance, support and accountability you need to make it happen. Join the waitlist today for details, find out how you can access early bird prices, and be among the first to secure a spot when doors open in early December.  Meet Melissa Kay A mother, lover of life, personal growth, and good coffee, Melissa has a passion for inspiring and helping others to dream big and take action. She owns and runs Melissa Kay Coaching where she focuses on empowerment and lasting transformation, so her clients can create a life and business they truly love. Ways to work with Melissa Join the Accelerator program - join the waitlist Work with Melissa VIP style - 1:1 coaching packages Join the free Facebook community - for daily content and great conversations If you’ve got big dreams and goals for your life and business, chances are you’ve already come across a naysayer or two. Someone in your family thinks you should ‘just be a little more realistic’. Perhaps your partner doesn’t understand why you are pouring your heart and soul into something that isn’t paying big bucks (yet). Your friends might want you to be like you were ‘in the good old days’ and the people around you seem more interested in living for the weekends instead of living every day. It’s tricky enough at times to manage your own doubts and stay focused, let lone dealing with naysayers. Sometimes our dreams and goals are too big for the people around us. It can be lonely, frustrating, and worse, it can make you begin to doubt yourself more. There are ways to handle it that will make your life much easier, and no, you don’t have to disown everybody in your family or move to another state. It’s true that you might need some new friends, inspiration and role models, which are easier to find than you might think.  Top 5 tips to deal with the naysayers: #1 My business is none of your business When someone asks you how your business is going, and it makes you feel uncomfortable, change the topic. This one applies to family members, friends and people at networking events who are fishing for ways to make you feel you’re on the wrong path or to elevate themselves. Don’t give anyone who’s not genuinely interested in supporting your success, the opportunity to kill your dreams. Your business is none if their business. “I’m loving it, thank you. How is Aunty Trisha doing these days?” #2 Choose wisely who you confide in It’s fantastic when you have someone you trust to share your big, audacious business goals with. That someone is not anyone. Before you start excitedly blurting out your latest and greatest vision, ask yourself these questions. Does this person also have big dreams and goals? Do they know anything about owning a business? Do they sincerely care for me and want to see me shine like a star? This one also applies to partners if they are not fully on board. Unfortunately, I’ve heard it from too many clients, women in particular, that their husband wasn’t supporting them to fulfil their dreams, and didn’t understand why they put so much time and energy into it. Be discerning about who you share your ideas and goals with. Not everyone will be as excited as you are, especially those who love you as you are and don’t want you to change. # 3 Don’t take advice from anyone who isn’t expert on the topic or hasn’t already achieved what you want. Duh! It’s crazy how we let others influence us! Have you ever been upset by a stranger’s comment on Instagram or doubted yourself because Uncle Tom suggested that online business isn’t a real business? Those strangers on Facebook who write long messages offering unsolicited advice and others who criticize your efforts, telling you to do it differently, without knowing anything about you or your business. Ignore them. Don’t rely on the well-meaning counsel offered in Forums and Facebook groups unless you know the person giving it is credible. They are great places for connection and ideas but don’t base your business decisions on guidance from random people. Don’t turn to your best friend who works a weekday 9-5 job for advice on what to do next or understand the plight of a budding entrepreneur. And as for Uncle Tom who had his own car repair business 30 years ago and wants to offload his outdated expertise onto someone, and relive his glory days, smile graciously and refer to tip #1. #4 Surround yourself with positivity and inspiration Get a regular dose of inspiration, useful and relevant information, and skills by attending seminars and workshops. Read books from the leaders your field, and tune in to podcasts and interviews. There is so much available for you, there’s no need to feel like you’re alone with your big dreams and goals. Check-in with those who’ve gone before you on the path to entrepreneurial success. Best make it a daily habit of at least 30 minutes of positive input and attend a great event a couple of times a year. Choose one that fires you up and creates massive momentum in the direction you want to go. #5 Don’t be average by default Have you heard that you become the average of the 5 people you spend the most time with? Sometimes our dreams and goals are too big for our current circle of five. That’s ok, you don’t have to abandon your friends and family who aren’t on a similar path to you. You can expand into a new circle by joining online or offline networking groups, communities, masterminds and programs. These spaces are filled with others who are also dreaming big and committed to taking a chance on themselves. This circle is where you share your audacious goals, find support and accountability, and openly share your wins without fear of being shot down by tall poppy syndrome.* You don’t owe anybody anything, most certainly not the naysayers, and you are free to create a life and business you truly love. There’s no need to play small and safe when you have every opportunity to be extraordinary. Whilst we are wired as human beings to look for validation from others in our groups, consider carefully whose opinions you give any weight to. If you’re ready to go after your big dreams and goals, and not willing to let anything or anyone stand in your way, I invite you to join me in the next Accelerator Experience in January 2021. In an intimate group of like-minded women, you’ll find the guidance, support and accountability you need to get there faster. Join the waitlist today for details, find out how you can access early bird prices, and be among the first to secure a spot when doors open.  Meet Melissa Kay A mother, lover of life, personal growth, and good coffee, Melissa has a passion for inspiring and helping others to dream big and take action. She owns and runs Melissa Kay Coaching where she focuses on empowerment and lasting transformation, so her clients can create a life and business they truly love. Ways to work with Melissa Join the Accelerator program - join the waitlist Work with Melissa VIP style - 1:1 coaching packages Join the free Facebook community - for daily content and great conversations *The tall poppy syndrome describes the cultural phenomenon of mocking people who think highly of themselves, "cutting down the tall poppy". Common in Australia and New Zealand, it is seen by many as self-deprecating and by others as promoting modesty and egalitarianism. - source: Wikipedia. How to avoid wasting your time and money OK, so the likelihood of death is minimal, but the chances of wasting your time and money may be higher than you think. Hiring a coach will change your life and/or business! Check this top 7 list to make sure your life will be changing for the better and not just leaving you disappointed and out of pocket. If you’re considering working with a coach as we approach the new year (or anytime really), here are some of the common mistakes to avoid when finding the right one.  #1 Choosing the wrong type of coach There is a 'right' type of coach for everyone but there are many different kinds to choose from. Mindset coaches, business coaches, manifestation coaches, holistic coaches, kick-butt, high energy coaches, stress release coaches, career coaches, female-only coaches, healer coaches, health coaches, coaches for specific skills and the list goes on. What do you actually need? Coaching with compassion and insight, I intuitively get to the depth of things and will challenge you to be your best and hold you accountable. My goal is to get you what you want, on your terms, in a way that works for you. Most of my clients work with me on mindset, empowerment, confidence, clarity and planning, manifestation, emotional mastery and taking life and/or business to the next level. #2 Choosing the cheapest in town All coaching is an investment in you. You must be prepared to invest mentally, emotionally, financially and give it adequate time and energy. Be wary of coaches that do not charge sufficiently for their services. This can be an indication that they either lack experience, confidence to get results or don’t properly value their services. If you are serious about getting the best results from your coaching, do not base your choice on price alone. #3 Choosing someone 'just like you' Choosing a coach who is at the same place in life as you are, who thinks and acts similarly might be comfortable and easy, but it won't get you results. They won't be able to challenge you to grow as they haven't achieved it for themselves. If you want to create something more for yourself, look for a coach who has the kind of life or business you want, who's done what you need to do. Don't choose a coach based on them being a lovely person, you're not paying for a new friend. #4 Choosing the wrong amount of support Be willing to commit to your success. Rome wasn't built in a day and all that! Whilst occasionally a simple tweak in the right direction is all that is needed, most clients require a few months of coaching for sustainable and lasting results, and enough time for them to fully implement. This is simply the nature of being human, we need time to install new habits and reinforce new patterns. You can have a breakthrough in five minutes but the follow-through is another story. Say a big, fat yes to your goals and commit to a longer-term coaching package for full support and accountability. #5 Choosing the wrong style of coaching Do you prefer structure or a more individual approach? There are many coaches who genuinely want to help but lack the life experience, empathy or intuition to adapt to each client's unique needs. They follow a set structure to the tee, as provided by the institution they trained with. This can work well for some, but for many, it lacks the personal touch and slows down the transformation process. With my clients I use proven tools and processes, choosing the most appropriate and best ones for my client's situation. Sessions are totally customised to suit individual needs, goals and personalities. I like a fluid approach within a proven system, always with an intention to get you to your desired goal on the fastest track possible for you. #6 Ignoring Intuition A great connection with your coach is essential. You have to like and trust your coach for the journey to be enjoyable and to get great results. If you feel it’s a personality mismatch or you don’t feel at ease with them, try another coach. The coach may also say that they don’t see the relationship being a good fit, and may recommend another coach. It's important that you feel optimistic and excited to be working with your coach. #7 Failing to check them out Ok, a little stalking 101 goes a long way. It's important to check out your potential coach. Visit their website, suss out their social media, watch their videos, find out what they're about, what kind of life do they live, what kind of business do they have, what do others say about them? Read their testimonials and get on the phone to have a conversation with them, asking any questions before you sign up. Oh and here's a super important bonus #8 that definitely deserves a mention - Does the coach have a coach? The answer should be a resounding yes! Make sure the coach you choose walks their talk, engages their own coach, fully believes in their own profession and knows first-hand the benefits of coaching. Has this helped you consider your options for coaching? Did I miss something? Let me know so I can add it to the list. If you’re considering coaching in the near future, let’s have a chat. You can book a free 20-minute call with me and I’m happy to answer any questions you may have.  Meet Melissa Kay A mother, lover of life, personal growth, and good coffee, Melissa has a passion for inspiring and helping others to dream big and take action. She owns and runs Melissa Kay Coaching where she focuses on empowerment and lasting transformation, so her clients can create a life and business they truly love. Ways to work with Melissa Join the Accelerator program - join the waitlist Work with Melissa VIP style - 1:1 coaching packages Join the free Facebook community - for daily content and great conversations What’s your biggest enemy in business? Is it the dreaded overwhelm? Perhaps it’s procrastination, imposter syndrome, self-doubt or a lack of confidence? You might experience one or several of these. I know I’ve been through them all many times and need to keep them at bay ongoing. In business, feeling on top of things and knowing things are working out, kind of comes and goes. Let’s face it, building a business has more than a few challenges. Many of the success stories you see and read about have been the result of years of building to that point, though they don’t always show you the struggles. So there’s emotional ups and downs that are inevitable. Your job is to learn how to manage those ups and down for yourself, so you don’t stay down for too long. If you get stuck on the emotional roller coaster it will make you inconsistent, unreliable and unproductive in your business. I work with most of my clients on this and I want to share it with you today. The number one thing that will change your life and business forever is learning to manage your emotional state. When you feel good, you will naturally take more action.  Here are 2 easy ways to come back to feeling good anywhere, anytime. #1 Add an F Yes you can use the F to swear if you want, but once you’re done with that, try this: Feeling SHIT… add an F = SHIFT your FOCUS Just think about something else! Catch your unhelpful thoughts and shift into thinking about something better. Think about something that excites you or inspires you. If you can’t get a grip on your thoughts and keep looping in negativity, read a book, blog or listen to a podcast from someone you admire. Try some comedy to break the pattern or call up a friend and talk about what’s going on for them. If you get stuck, go to gratitude. Thinking about something or someone you are grateful for instantly changes your emotional state. It’s the easiest and most powerful way to get positivity back into your day and perspective on your situation. Right now, what’s one thing you are so incredibly grateful for in your life? #2 Move your Body This has to be the simplest way to change how you feel at any moment. Try it now: stand up, lift your chest, look up and put a big smile on your face (even if you have to force it). You can’t stay miserable for long when you stand like this. Be careful, you might start to feel confident too. Get your energy flowing by going for a walk, dancing in your office, working out or simply strike a power pose (think superhero). Whatever you like to do, make it fun and easy for yourself. Go a step further and incorporate these movements into your day, every day. Why wait until you feel like poop? Give yourself the best chance to maintain feeling good with regular physical activities to boost your energy and mood. You’ve already got the tools inside of you to manage your emotions, you simply need to start using them. Practice them by becoming more and more aware when you begin to slide into negativity or unresourceful emotional states. Practice catching those moments and making a different choice by using one of the two methods above. If you’re resisting this idea because it’s too simple and your situation is too complicated, I urge you to try it out just a few times. You’ve got nothing to lose except your bad mood :)  Meet Melissa Kay A mother, lover of life, personal growth, and good coffee, Melissa has a passion for inspiring and helping others to dream big and take action. She owns and runs Melissa Kay Coaching where she focuses on empowerment and lasting transformation, so her clients can create a life and business they truly love. Ways to work with Melissa Join the Accelerator program - join the waitlist Work with Melissa VIP style - 1:1 coaching packages Join the free Facebook community - for daily content and great conversations Are you ready for a reset and a new beginning? A new project, relationship, or perhaps even a complete life overhaul. 2020 has been an eye-opener, causing me to step back and prioritize, get clearer on my values, and what's worth my time and energy. But it was in late 2019, after burning out in life and business, that I decided it was time for some serious change. I considered what it really takes to move forward and stick to a new path. Too often people start off well, but give up partway or fall back into old habits after a couple of months. There are 3 phases of creating a new chapter and I found when I spent adequate time in each, I followed through. I began using this 3-phase system with my clients and they followed through. It’s when we try and skip a phase that things don’t hold together. If you want to start something new and create lasting change, here are 3 phases that you must include:  1. Clarity is key to begin This is simply an honest look at where you're at, what needs to change, and a commitment to do so. Surprisingly so many people don’t have clarity on their situation. They know they’re not happy with the way things are but they don’t take the time to get clear on what they truly want. They just go for different! Well, different can mean a lot of things and if you’re not specific in what you want, your new destination can be just as dissatisfying as the old one. You’ve got to take an honest look at your starting point and your desired destination, so you can figure out how to get from here to there. How will you know what exactly needs to change if you’re not willing to be real about where you’re at now? Take time to get clarity. It’s not rocket science, it just takes times and asking the right questions. Clarity is key and when you couple that with a decision to go for it, a commitment to a new path, that’s when you create momentum in the right direction. 2. Don’t expect change if you don’t change You’ve got to transform yourself to meet your new, exciting destination. We are all capable of change but sometimes it’s easier to hold on to what you know and feel comfortable with. You want things to be different but you resist the change. Letting go of what stops you from changing, clearing out those old beliefs around who you are and what you think you’re capable of, is where the lasting transformation becomes possible. You don’t need to force the new, you need to let go of the old. Spend some time in this second phase, letting go of what holds you back so can truly create something new. 3. It only happens when you follow through Phase three means implementation. This is the part where you get organized around your new plans, take charge of yourself on a daily basis, and maintain awareness of your journey. Have you had great plans before and not followed through on them? You probably didn’t have a clear plan that enabled you to know what to do and stick to it. Big goals and dreams need a plan with bite-size steps so you don’t feel overwhelmed and lost. Showing up to your new commitment every day is so much easier when you feel clear and confident about it. And on those days when it does feel scary, you need to tap into your courage and resilience to keep going. This won’t be a problem if you paid enough attention to phase two. When you try and skip a phase you don’t give yourself a fighting chance to succeed. It looks like:
What phase are you best at and which one has definite room for improvement? I’d love to hear your thoughts on this and what you’re working on.  Meet Melissa Kay A mother, lover of life, personal growth, and good coffee, Melissa has a passion for inspiring and helping others to dream big and take action. She owns and runs Melissa Kay Coaching where she focuses on empowerment and lasting transformation, so her clients can create a life and business they truly love. Ways to work with Melissa Join the Accelerator program - join the waitlist Work with Melissa VIP style - 1:1 coaching packages Join the free Facebook community - for daily content and great conversations |
Melissa Kay SchulzCoffee lover, mother, salsa dancer and mindset coach for entrepreneurs. 
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