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Have you ever felt invisible? I changed school 13 times in the short 10 years that I attended. Always the new kid, always trying to lay low so I wasn’t noticed too much. Often the tallest kid in class, even taller than the boys, I often stood out, a head above the rest you could say. So it was even more of an effort to shrink and hide myself. Over the years I became quite adaptable and skilled at blending in to avoid attention. When I started my own business I quickly realised that to succeed I needed to stand out and gain attention. What a dilemma for someone who didn’t feel safe to be seen or heard. There are many reasons why it might feel difficult for someone to want to stand out.
The result, no matter how it began, is that now, when you know you need to show up boldly, stand out and be visible in your business, your old programming gets the better of you and you stay hiding. You might know it intellectually, that you need to step up and be seen and heard, but knowing something isn’t enough. Only when your self-belief outweighs your self-doubt and when your courage becomes stronger than your fears, will you feel good about having all eyes on you. Then you will truly embrace the expert that you are and feel comfortable shouting it from the rooftops. You’ll show up powerfully and consistently to attract and serve your ideal clients.  5 things you can do right now to grow your confidence to be visible:
If any of the above speaks to you and you’re ready to do something about it, join me next month in Project REAL (details below) to align to your authentically confident Self and learn how to show up powerfully to create the impact you want to have with your business. Imagine how fabulous it will feel when being seen and heard by your ideal clients becomes EASY and even enjoyable. Good luck and see you next month in the program if you know that now is the time to do it differently. Project REAL - Aligned Confidence & Empowered Self-promotion for Women who want to shine So what is this group program about exactly? Here’s what we’ll be learning and implementing
Here’s what the program is not about:
The Beta round kicks on October 11 and I can’t wait to see you shine - check the full details here.  Meet Melissa Kay A mother, lover of life, personal growth, and good coffee, Melissa has a passion for inspiring and helping others to dream big and take action. She owns and runs Melissa Kay Coaching where she focuses on empowerment and lasting transformation, so her clients can create a life and business they truly love. Ways to work with Melissa Join the free Facebook community - for daily content and great conversations
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The online world of business is a busy space, getting busier. It can feel intimidating and overwhelming to put yourself out there at all, let alone figure out how to stand out and be noticed. If you’re feeling resistance of any kind when it comes to self-promotion, read on as I’ve got some great info and tips for you. Here are the top 7 reasons why you might be hiding and the practical steps you can take right now to start showing up consistently and courageously. #1 I’m so overwhelmed I don’t know where to begin The ‘should-do’ list is massive and your ‘to-do’ list isn’t getting any shorter either. When you feel overwhelmed it’s a message from your mind that you haven’t prioritised. There’s nothing wrong with you, the key is to pay attention to the message. What to do: Grab your pen and paper or open a doc on your computer and write it all out. Every to-do, from the ginormous to the tiniest of tasks, needs to get out of your head and into words. Go through your list and draw a heart next to the ones that are most important ie. they will have a positive impact on your business AND you have the resources to do them. Pick one task and take action on it immediately and you will begin to feel better in no time. Rinse and repeat. #2 I’m just not feeling it today, I want to wait until I’m 100% so I can give 100% Ok friend, let this one go TODAY! Chances are that 99% of the time you won’t be feeling 100%. Do some rough math and you can quickly see how much you’re going to achieve if you stick with this idea. Imperfect and done is better than never done at all. Besides, who said they expect you to be perfect when you show up, otherwise you shouldn’t bother? What to do: Commit to one small promo task that you’ve been putting off and make it happen, warts and all. It won’t kill you or your business if it’s not 100% perfect and you may even begin to feel a bit accomplished, making you want to come back for more. #3 I’m an introvert and I’m terrified of putting myself out there What’s your biggest introvert nightmare? Is it showing your face on social media, live video, networking events? Well, you might not like this news but being an introvert is no excuse for not revealing yourself. Many successful entrepreneurs are introverts and you can be one too. In fact, many extroverted people have the same insecurities as you do, they just take a different (often louder) approach to dealing with them. As an introvert, you will need more recharge time but don’t let that stop you. What to do: From this moment forward, you can no longer use the “I’m an introvert” excuse. Take small steps to grow your confidence and trust in yourself, do not doom yourself to a lifetime of hiding due to a personality trait.  #4 I’m too something (aka. I’m not good enough) I’m too tired, too old, too uneducated, too shy, too fat, too boring, too clumsy, too unwell, too fake, too real, too sad, too stressed, too overwhelmed and my hair is awful… do I need to keep going? Little embarrassing but I used to have this crazy idea that all successful women had amazing hair. There was Marie Forleo, Gabby Bernstein, Amy Porterfield with their long, delicious, flowing locks. And then there was me! The truth is this – none of these things, especially not your hair, matter as much as your potential clients being able to get to know you. They need to see the real you because that’s how they’ll decide if you are right for them. Don’t assume that everyone out there is looking for perfect, people often find that too intimidating because it’s not like them. What to do: Just be you. It’s totally ok and ‘your’ clients will be able to find you, as soon as you come out of hiding. #5 I feel like a fake and/or she does it better than me Have you ever wondered why someone would come to work with you, or even listen to what you have to say when there are so many fricking amazing talents out there already? Imposter syndrome and comparisonitis are two of the biggies that will keep you hiding, playing small and never putting anything out there. The fact that you are here reading this should shed some light. Why are you here instead of tuning in to Tony Robbins with his 40+ years of coaching experience or watching Marie Forleo with her years of business smarts and gorgeous hair? You liked something about this enough to click through and have a read. Perhaps it was the wording, perhaps you like my style, perhaps it’s what you need right now at this very moment and it just happened to be in front of your nose. It doesn’t matter. The point is that you will deliver your knowledge and skill, your wisdom and your work, in a way that is unique to you. Some people (these are your clients) will need it just as you offer it. Other people will not connect with your particular style (these are not your clients) and that is perfectly ok. What to do: Stop comparing yourself with others, especially those who are much further ahead on their journey, and simply show up in your own unique way. #6 I’m scared nobody will like or want what I have to offer Truthbomb – it can totally happen! In fact, you can pour your heart and soul into something, or be skilled and passionate about your work, but when you present it to the world, you get dead silence in return. Now before you go running back into the closet let me make a loud and clear statement. This is not personal. The rejection or better put, lack of interest in something you are offering does not equal rejection of you. It means you need to tweak it, the marketing was off, your audience doesn’t need it, it requires a different approach. So what if no one besides your mother liked your first Facebook live? Try something else, try a different topic, re-evaluate and go again. There will be things that work for you and things that don’t. And don’t forget, a lot more people see your posts but don’t engage with them. Another thing to consider is your audience size. If you are presenting something to an audience of 75 people, you’ve probably got about 0.75 of a potential paying client there. What to do: Focus on growing your ideal audience and stop confusing other’s perceived value of your offer with your own personal worth, then you’ll see things begin to shift. #7 I’m confused about what to share with my audience, I don’t know what to talk about You might know a lot and totally love your work but there are days when you don’t even know what might be interesting for others. Let me simplify that for you right now into three easy categories. 1. talk about yourself and your experiences so that people can get to know you 2. talk about the results your service/product gets for your clients 3. talk about the things that are the biggest problems for your audience – if you’re not sure what they are then you need to find out. Ask them! Whatever you do, do not hide behind pretty stock images, your logo and a bunch of positive quotes. There are so many businesses where you can’t see the person behind them and worse, have to search all over the place to find out what they actually do. What to do: People need to know about you and what you do before there is any chance that they’ll want to work with you. Make it clear and easy for them with clarity and consistency. So which one got you nodding your head the most? Did I leave anything off the list? Be sure to let me know so I can add it. Jump into my free Facebook community Australian Women in Business today and connect with me and other like-minded people who are ready to grow and step up in their business. Stop hiding your amazing self away from the world. You’ve got people to serve and they need to be able to find you. C’mon, don’t be so selfish ;)  Meet Melissa Kay A mother, lover of life, personal growth, and good coffee, Melissa has a passion for inspiring and helping others to dream big and take action. She owns and runs Melissa Kay Coaching where she focuses on empowerment and lasting transformation, so her clients can create a life and business they truly love. Ways to work with Melissa Join the free Facebook community - for daily content and great conversations You know that quote that everybody loves so much… When you can’t control what’s happening, challenge yourself to control how you respond to what’s happening. That’s where your power is. It's a really great quote until the shit hits the fan and we fall into blame, criticism and victimhood. The quote is truer than true but most of us aren't very practised in taking full responsibility for how we feel. It's when "you said that and made me angry" becomes, "you said that and I chose to feel angry about it." It's when "everything is so uncertain therefore I'm afraid'' becomes "everything is so uncertain and I'm responding with fear." You can (if you want to) take ownership of your feelings. You can take 100% responsibility. In fact, it's one of the few things you do have complete control over at the moment. If you are ready to take charge of yourself and tap into your personal power and become your own best friend, grab a cup of tea and watch the video I made for my FB community. In the video I share
I've decided to make it available to my wider community so you can watch it here even if you're not in the Australian Women in Business community (but get yourself in there too because that's where I'm offering daily content on living a powerful and joyful life and business). With love, Melissa P.S. If you are ready to show up more powerfully in your life or in business I've got a special offer on 90min Personal Power intensives (details below) for the next couple of weeks. I’m ready to help you with clarity, confidence, courage and a plan to take action and turn your desires into your reality. Watch the Personal Power Training Personal Power 90 min Intensives on sale this week If you're experiencing a major dose of uncertainty right now (that's manifesting in anxiety, fear, in-action, stress, sadness, anger etc.) but you'd rather be feeling calm and confident, read on… I'm opening up 90min personal power sessions for this week and next. - clarity and perspective will help you feel sane - reassessment of your life and biz will give you direction and focus - creating a plan to move forward will bring more confidence and actionable steps - and tapping into your personal power will help you feel better and show up for yourself, your family, your team and your community 90 min PP sessions are on offer this week for just $197 AUD (normally $450 AUD). Use the code takecharge2021 at the checkout. If this sounds like something you need, send me a message for details or book yourself here at a day and time that works for you. Let me help you get back on track and take charge today 🤩 Book a 90min Personal Power Session Meet Melissa Kay A mother, lover of life, personal growth, and good coffee, Melissa has a passion for inspiring and helping others to dream big and take action. She owns and runs Melissa Kay Coaching where she focuses on empowerment and lasting transformation, so her clients can create a life and business they truly love.  Anxiety is a very common thing and if you’re anything like me you have to pay attention and make a conscious effort to keep varying levels of anxiety in check. It can be anything from a slight feeling of unease through to a full blown attack. I deal with it and many of my clients deal with it. A simple, yet oh so powerful practice of gratitude, can help you lessen your anxiety. This works so well, especially when you are feeling discouraged, when you feel like life's too tough, when you feel helpless or hopeless. When you feel like nothing is working out for you. Gratitude is one of the easiest ways that I know to change how you're feeling in any given moment AND get a perspective shift on your life. This is just such a simple, simple technique. The key is, of course, like anything, you have to do it. If you are having a tough time and stress and anxiety are something you experience, get yourself into gratitude as often as possible. It's a total game-changer. Step 1 - Think about what you're grateful for. It's really, really simple, right? It might be something big or small, a rare thing or something you experience everyday. It might be a person, a place, a thing, an event, or a situation. Today I’m grateful that the sun is shining. I feel so grateful that I won the lottery last week. Or anything in between, it all counts.  Step 2 - Write down three things every morning that you're grateful for. Write down three things at night that you're grateful for. If that's not enough, do it more often. If you're having a moment of despair, go to gratitude. Make it a habitual, daily thing and your go-to response in times of stress. Warning - Don't be like most people who think it’s a good idea, but then don't actually write it down. You have to write it down because writing it down forces you to formulate it from a vague thought form into a concrete physical sentence. Bring your gratitude out of the Ether and into existence. Step 3 - Feel the gratitude, don’t just think about it. If you find it hard to get into the ‘feeling’ of it, go deeper by asking the following question. What is it specifically about this person/situation/thing that makes me feel so thankful? It's so simple and I promise you within just a couple of times of doing it, you are going to feel so much better. The key is to actually remember to do it. It’s easy to get caught up in the negativity each day and miss the good things that are happening all around you. Practicing gratitude, both as a daily thing and a way to get an emotional state change, trains your brain to start noticing more of the good stuff. Try it out for yourself and let me know what happens. I know it has saved me plenty of times. To help my clients, I’m in the process of creating a ‘Daily gratitude template’ for them to download and use with their journal. If you’d like a copy of it when it’s done, send me a message and I’ll get it to you.  Meet Melissa Kay A mother, lover of life, personal growth, and good coffee, Melissa has a passion for inspiring and helping others to dream big and take action. She owns and runs Melissa Kay Coaching where she focuses on empowerment and lasting transformation, so her clients can create a life and business they truly love. Ways to work with Melissa Join the Accelerator program - join the waitlist Work with Melissa VIP style - 1:1 coaching packages Join the free Facebook community - for daily content and great conversations A little reality-check about being an entrepreneur – it’s not the easy path. Don’t believe what most people are shouting at you or showing you on social media. It’s frickin’ tough some days and nobody goes from zero to hero overnight or easily. Having your own business is a hugely rewarding path and yes, it can be the path to all your dreams come true. But it’s about as easy as me saying no to my morning coffee. You’ll need to grow and develop certain characteristics if you are going to make it as an entrepreneur.
Can you do it? You absolutely can! Lots of entrepreneurs give up too soon when the reality of building a business hits them because they think they don’t have what it takes to be successful. What they don’t realise is that NOBODY is naturally gifted with these traits. Nobody just naturally has a mindset for success  Essential #1 A clear vision (your what) Know what you want! Clarity is key and the more you can bring your vision to life in your mind, the faster you will bring it into your reality. You may not see every step of the way but get the details of your desired outcome as much as you can, and get started. Essential #2 A strong driving force (your why) Know why you want what you want. This is the number one thing that will keep you going when it feels tough. It must be something that is personal to you and preferably evoke strong emotions. Make it so compelling that there’s no way you’ll give up until you get it. Essential #3 A mindset for success Learn the mindset and habits of successful people. Think like an entrepreneur and treat your business like a real business (not a hobby). Remember it’s something you learn and improve upon, not something you’re born with. Google success mindset or hit me up for some free resources. Essential #4 A ton of resilience This is the part where you fall down, make mistakes, look silly perhaps and then you get back up and keep going. It’s highly unlikely that any of your downfalls along the way will be that serious or life-threatening, so the quicker you accept that it’s a part of the game, the better. Keep going! Essential #5 A commitment to your dream Be committed to your dream from day 1. If you’re starting a business with an ‘I’ll just build a website and see what happens’ kind of attitude, you won’t do what it takes to get things up and running. Decide and commit. Not everything works out but it’s not likely to work out unless you give it all you’ve got. Successful entrepreneurs have created themselves to be that way. They have worked on themselves, improved their mind, tried and learned, fallen down, picked themselves up again, invested in their personal growth as well as their business. It’s not always easy but it is definitely doable. They did it and they are no different to you. So don’t ever give up because you think you’re not good enough. All you need to do is stay honest with yourself about what you need to develop and most importantly, do something to make it happen. If you’ve got a new project or business that you want to get moving on, join me on the next round of my Accelerator program where I will personally help you to make it happen. Check out the 10-week Accelerator here or contact me for more information.  Meet Melissa Kay A mother, lover of life, personal growth, and good coffee, Melissa has a passion for inspiring and helping others to dream big and take action. She owns and runs Melissa Kay Coaching where she focuses on empowerment and lasting transformation, so her clients can create a life and business they truly love. Ways to work with Melissa Join the Accelerator program - join the waitlist Work with Melissa VIP style - 1:1 coaching packages Join the free Facebook community - for daily content and great conversations Your words are more powerful than you know. So how you talk to yourself is more important than you may know. And no-one is more critical or harsher with their words than you are to yourself. Ever heard yourself telling yourself that you’re not good enough, smart enough, young enough, old enough or beautiful enough? Ever hear that voice that is doubtful, fearful or criticising? Can’t do it, aren’t worth it, shouldn’t try it. Sometimes a subtle whisper and sometimes a roaring barrage of filthy, hurtful words, your self-talk can be incredibly damaging if you let it get out of control. If you’re someone who is critical of yourself, unkind to yourself or has ever said something to yourself that you’d slap a stranger across the face if they said it to you, read on. The 1, 2, 3 of switching to positive self-talk. Challenge your negative self-talk with some real evidence When you hear that critical voice speak up in your head, or for some it speaks out loud, it’s time to get back to the facts. Is there any truth at all to it? Ask if it’s actually true. Usually not, but that’s rarely enough to quieten the voice. The trick is to look for evidence to disprove the statement. There is always plenty of evidence but you mostly don’t see it because you’re too busy asking the wrong questions. You ask “why am I not good enough” and get answers for why you’re not good enough. What if you asked, “when are times in my life that I’ve done something I wasn’t sure I could do?” Your brain will get busy coming up with the answers aka. Evidence, for you. You are good enough, smart enough, strong enough, resilient enough and totally worth it. So challenge that voice by collecting the evidence that will put it in its place.  If a friend wouldn’t say it, neither should you Become a friend to yourself and DO NOT utter any words that a good friend wouldn’t say to your face or that you wouldn’t say them. Put your friend filter on your self-talk. It’s that simple. Practice compassion and kindness toward yourself instead of always giving yourself an over-the-top, completely unjustified, hard time. Especially if you are someone who has nasty, harsh self-talk, this is for you. Each time you hear the criticism piping up, ask yourself “would I speak like this to someone I love?” If the answer is no, then cut it out. Ask “would I allow someone else to speak to me like this?” Well, I hope the answer is always no, and cut it out! Apply your friend filter to your self-talk and watch how it transforms your words. Crowd out the negative self-talk It may take a bit of practice to catch your negative thoughts and self-talk but over time it will transform. You can speed up the process by adding in a daily dose of positive talk. Instead of waiting for opportunities to switch out of the negative talk, you can intentionally re-wire your brain to accept and even expect the positive. The easiest way is to practice a set of daily affirmations about yourself, that lift you up and praise your amazingness. Start with wherever you feel comfortable. Usually somewhere between ‘I am ok’ to ‘I’m a freakin rockstar!’ Remind yourself daily of how wonderful and capable you truly are and soon you’ll leave no space for the negativity in your head. The important thing to remember is that we all experience doubts and times when we don’t feel up to it. Your inner voice will have something to say, so best you train it to be kind, compassionate and encouraging instead of tearing you down. Watch your words and watch how you quickly feel better about yourself. If you’re having a hard time getting your thoughts and words under control, reach out to me for a chat about how I can help you quickly take charge. Meet Melissa Kay A mother, lover of life, personal growth, and good coffee, Melissa has a passion for inspiring and helping others to dream big and take action. She owns and runs Melissa Kay Coaching where she focuses on empowerment and lasting transformation, so her clients can create a life and business they truly love. Ways to work with Melissa Join the Accelerator program - join the waitlist Work with Melissa VIP style - 1:1 coaching packages Join the free Facebook community - for daily content and great conversations  I have ‘moments’ often where something isn’t going the way that I want it to and I lose my cool. This is especially true when the car in front of me is doing 80 in the 100 zone. Or situations where I start to feel sad or angry or frustrated or helpless. I'm okay with that because practicing resilience and getting better at managing yourself in any given moment doesn’t mean that you become immune to your feelings. And it doesn’t mean that you get to just avoid those feelings, or that you get to avoid the shitty situations that cause those feelings. It simply means that you bounce back quicker. You don’t get a free ticket out, but you get out faster. Like the ‘get out of jail free’ card in Monopoly. You still have to go there, but you don’t have to stay. Great right? Then you can get back to being your usual positive, happy or calm self quicker and get on with your day. The flow-on effect is that you get more done and you feel better more often. Your quality of life goes up dramatically. So here's what you can do if this is you too...There are a lot of ways that you can become more resilient, to manage yourself better in the moment, or to respond differently when things don’t work out the way you’d wanted. But nobody said it was easy. In fact, it’s something that takes practice. It’s a skill that you practice over and over again until you get good at it. Over the years I’ve gotten better at managing my emotions and coming back to myself quicker. But sometimes when I’m having ‘a moment’ I forget what I need to do. I just can’t even remember what I’m supposed to do! I might message my partner, expecting someone else to tell me what to do. His response is usually along the lines of “just take a deep breath, you know this will pass.” Such simple advice and usually works. So why is it that in the moment, with me knowing so much that I know, I can’t remember to take a deep breath and trust in the fact that this feeling will pass? Well, the simplified answer is because when your brain is in a state of stress, you can’t think straight. You literally are not functioning the same way as when you’re in a relaxed and calm state. This means that what you know now when you’re calm, is not what you know when you’re stressed out and reacting from a place of emotion rather than responding from a place of logic. So if you ever have that experience where you lose your cool and you’d like to ‘get out of it faster’ here’s one of my favourite ways to begin building your bounce back muscle.
I hope this helps and wish you a wonderful and joyful week ahead. xoxo Melissa PS Need more help to feel better in your life? Don’t forget you can book a free strategy session with me anytime. Let’s have a chat and see if I can help you get back on track.  Meet Melissa Kay A mother, lover of life, personal growth, and good coffee, Melissa has a passion for inspiring and helping others to dream big and take action. She owns and runs Melissa Kay Coaching where she focuses on empowerment and lasting transformation, so her clients can create a life and business they truly love. Ways to work with Melissa Join the Accelerator program - join the waitlist Work with Melissa VIP style - 1:1 coaching packages Join the free Facebook community - for daily content and great conversations Are you running on empty and taking care of everyone and everything except yourself? I see it all around me and I’ve been guilty of it plenty of times. You know you should take better care of yourself but you’re too busy, too tired and too overwhelmed. If and when you do get a breather, you probably hit the couch for a Netflix fix or get lost scrolling social media. These are great options to tune out but they are far from cup-filling or stress-reducing. Fill that cup and feel better Filling your own cup first means making yourself more of a priority. A priority over others at times and that may not sit too well with you. If that’s the case, keep in mind that your self-care means not only will you feel better but you’ll be able to take even better care of others. When your cup is full you can operate as your optimal self. I don’t know about you, but I’m a much nicer person when I’m fully functioning and feeling good. You know you’re going to keep taking care of things, so now you have a choice to make. You can do it from an energised, feel-good place or you can do it from a place of resentment and bitterness, which is how we start to feel when we get worn out and still have so much to do. If you’ve decided to give filling your own cup a try, here are 5 suggestions that I’ve personally chosen for you if you’re feeling depleted and don’t know where to begin.  5 minutes of focused gratitude will change your life Start a gratitude journal in which you document each day at least 5 things that you are grateful for in your life. It need only take 5 minutes of your time. You can be grateful for people, things, experiences, places, or circumstances and once you get journaling, you won’t be short of ideas. Dedicating time each day to feel grateful will rapidly shift your vibe in the moment as well as your perspective of your life. It’s a real game-changer when it comes to filling up your cup and feeling good. To go deeper in your gratitude write a sentence about ‘why’ that person, place or thing makes you feel so damn grateful. Get moving on your goals Setting a new goal for yourself will get you excited about something and help you focus on what is good for you. If you’re feeling run down I recommend setting a health goal, so you are simultaneously doing good for your mind, body and energy levels. Start with something small and just a little bit of a stretch if you need to. Perhaps a 15-minute walk around the neighbourhood each day, or a morning yoga session. Make it a daily habit. If you’ve got something bigger in mind, go for it. The criteria are that it’s something you enjoy and that makes you feel great afterwards. Don’t forget your health goals can include exercise, food/nutrition, relaxation, sleep etc. Getaway with yourself for yourself A change of scenery can do wonders to break that feeling of monotony and the real gift comes when you go somewhere or do something by yourself, for yourself. Without a companion, you don’t have to take anyone else into consideration and are free to do as your heart desires. Book an overnight stay in a gorgeous hotel or a beach shack or take yourself to your favourite restaurant for dinner. How about a picnic in the park with your book or journal? Change something you can see for immediate effect Fill your cup instantly with a new outfit or a haircut that says ‘I am a woman who takes excellent care of myself.’ Investing in yourself in this way gives you an immediate result, a feel-amazing experience and sends a message to the Universe that you are worth it. A budget-friendly way to do this is to declutter your space. Get rid of everything you don’t need or want, or that makes you feel stressed or unhappy when you see it. Your bedroom, office and wardrobe are the best places to begin. You’ll feel so much better when it’s done and if you’re pushed for time, commit to just 10 minutes per day to work on it. A daily dose of me-time is not a luxury No matter how busy you are there are at least 10 minutes in your day that you can find to nurture yourself. Longer is better but start where you can. Gift yourself some me-time each and every day. Do whatever makes you feel good during and after that time. Read your book, take a bath, go for a walk, journal or stand on your head if that’s what does it for you. Tony Robbins says “if you don’t have 10 minutes for yourself, you don’t have a life.” You can do this! Me-time is not for scrolling social media, putting on the washing or calling your mum. Make it about you and be consistent with it every day. Now that you’ve got some ideas take 3 minutes to write a plan. What will you do and when will you do it? Decide now to give yourself the opportunity to fill your own cup and become a better functioning human being - for everyone’s sake. If you want more ideas download my free PD - Ignite Your Joy – The Ultimate Bucket List to Challenge Yourself for 32 ideas on ways to find that spark again. Simple, easy and even free suggestions to get you back on the journey to your inspired life.  Meet Melissa Kay A mother, lover of life, personal growth, and good coffee, Melissa has a passion for inspiring and helping others to dream big and take action. She owns and runs Melissa Kay Coaching where she focuses on empowerment and lasting transformation, so her clients can create a life and business they truly love. Ways to work with Melissa Join the Accelerator program - join the waitlist Work with Melissa VIP style - 1:1 coaching packages Join the free Facebook community - for daily content and great conversations Do you sometimes (or often) hear that inner voice that has so much to say about why you shouldn’t go after your dream or try something new? It’s always talking you down or coming up with ‘reasons’ why you can’t. When fear or doubt come into play as a result of taking a risk or uncertainty, there’s always that inner voice. Its name is the inner critic and it’s trying to tell you something but not necessarily the truth. That inner voice is merely a part of you that wants to keep you safe and out of harm’s way. The message is, ‘this doesn’t feel safe and therefore it’s not good.’ This part of you is focused only on safety and doesn’t see the benefits of what you are about to do. So it will scream loudly in protest. So how to do we overcome this resistance and keep taking action? Think for yourself You can choose what thoughts and feelings you decide to buy into. To believe the inner critic or not. If I tell you that your hair is green when it’s clearly not, you will simply shrug off my comment and possibly think I’m a bit looney. If I keep insisting your hair is green, you may laugh at my insanity or feel sorry for my lack of knowledge. Know your truth and keep focused on the outcomes you want to achieve. Most of the time the inner critic is misinformed. It’s telling you something’s not safe when really there is little or no danger. Don’t blindly believe it. Think for yourself and look for evidence to support otherwise.  Acknowledge your inner critic Have ever tried to ignore your inner critic? When you try to ignore the voice it usually gets louder. Or if you do succeed in shutting it up, you can bet it’ll be back again soon. I teach this in-depth in some of my programs but here’s the quick tip that I want to share with you today about your inner critic. You must realise that your inner critic is like a small child that won’t be reasoned with – think 3 or 4 years old. It doesn’t care for logic, just wants its needs met. And what are those needs? Simple, to be heard, to be acknowledged. If you ignore it, it just screams louder than before. I like to acknowledge and make space for my inner critic, meeting her with a non-emotional curiosity until she gets bored of harassing me or says something so ridiculous that I simply can’t believe her. Remember, just because your inner critic has got things to say, doesn’t mean it’s true and it’s still up to you to decide whether you’re going to believe it or not. Don’t fight with your inner critic When you stop trying to suppress and ignore that inner voice and just allow it to speak, you immediately stop the struggle, stop the fight. The benefit of this is that you don’t get all emotional and stressed. It doesn’t mean you accept what it saying to be true, you just acknowledge its existence in a non-emotional way and from that place, you can decide to believe it or not. When simply allowed, that voice will soon run out of things to say and will become quiet of its own accord, or will say something so ridiculous that it loses all credibility. The key here is to not be tricked into the drama. Be the calm, cool, non-emotional, stable parent to your inner critic having a 3-year-old tantrum and it will soon subside. With a little practice in responding this way, it’s over in a minute and you can get on with your day. So the next time your inner critic tells you, ‘you won’t be good at it, you’re not good enough, you don’t even know what you’re doing, or you’re too old, too fat or your hair isn’t quite right to be successful’, learn to allow it with a non-emotional curiosity and it will soon pass. It’s not about what that fearful voice says, it’s about how you respond to it. Then decide for yourself what action you are going to take toward your big dreams and goals.  Meet Melissa Kay A mother, lover of life, personal growth, and good coffee, Melissa has a passion for inspiring and helping others to dream big and take action. She owns and runs Melissa Kay Coaching where she focuses on empowerment and lasting transformation, so her clients can create a life and business they truly love. Ways to work with Melissa Join the Accelerator program - join the waitlist Work with Melissa VIP style - 1:1 coaching packages Join the free Facebook community - for daily content and great conversations |
Melissa Kay SchulzCoffee lover, mother, salsa dancer and mindset coach for entrepreneurs. 
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