Do you sometimes (or often) hear that inner voice that has so much to say about why you shouldn’t go after your dream or try something new? It’s always talking you down or coming up with ‘reasons’ why you can’t.
When fear or doubt come into play as a result of taking a risk or uncertainty, there’s always that inner voice. Its name is the inner critic and it’s trying to tell you something but not necessarily the truth.
That inner voice is merely a part of you that wants to keep you safe and out of harm’s way. The message is, ‘this doesn’t feel safe and therefore it’s not good.’ This part of you is focused only on safety and doesn’t see the benefits of what you are about to do. So it will scream loudly in protest.
So how to do we overcome this resistance and keep taking action?
Think for yourself
You can choose what thoughts and feelings you decide to buy into. To believe the inner critic or not.
If I tell you that your hair is green when it’s clearly not, you will simply shrug off my comment and possibly think I’m a bit looney. If I keep insisting your hair is green, you may laugh at my insanity or feel sorry for my lack of knowledge.
Know your truth and keep focused on the outcomes you want to achieve.
Most of the time the inner critic is misinformed. It’s telling you something’s not safe when really there is little or no danger. Don’t blindly believe it. Think for yourself and look for evidence to support otherwise.
Acknowledge your inner critic
Have ever tried to ignore your inner critic? When you try to ignore the voice it usually gets louder. Or if you do succeed in shutting it up, you can bet it’ll be back again soon.
I teach this in-depth in some of my programs but here’s the quick tip that I want to share with you today about your inner critic. You must realise that your inner critic is like a small child that won’t be reasoned with – think 3 or 4 years old. It doesn’t care for logic, just wants its needs met. And what are those needs? Simple, to be heard, to be acknowledged. If you ignore it, it just screams louder than before.
I like to acknowledge and make space for my inner critic, meeting her with a non-emotional curiosity until she gets bored of harassing me or says something so ridiculous that I simply can’t believe her.
Remember, just because your inner critic has got things to say, doesn’t mean it’s true and it’s still up to you to decide whether you’re going to believe it or not.
Don’t fight with your inner critic
When you stop trying to suppress and ignore that inner voice and just allow it to speak, you immediately stop the struggle, stop the fight. The benefit of this is that you don’t get all emotional and stressed.
It doesn’t mean you accept what it saying to be true, you just acknowledge its existence in a non-emotional way and from that place, you can decide to believe it or not.
When simply allowed, that voice will soon run out of things to say and will become quiet of its own accord, or will say something so ridiculous that it loses all credibility.
The key here is to not be tricked into the drama. Be the calm, cool, non-emotional, stable parent to your inner critic having a 3-year-old tantrum and it will soon subside. With a little practice in responding this way, it’s over in a minute and you can get on with your day.
So the next time your inner critic tells you, ‘you won’t be good at it, you’re not good enough, you don’t even know what you’re doing, or you’re too old, too fat or your hair isn’t quite right to be successful’, learn to allow it with a non-emotional curiosity and it will soon pass.
It’s not about what that fearful voice says, it’s about how you respond to it.
Then decide for yourself what action you are going to take toward your big dreams and goals.
Meet Melissa Kay
A mother, lover of life, personal growth, and good coffee, Melissa has a passion for inspiring and helping others to dream big and take action. She owns and runs Melissa Kay Coaching where she focuses on empowerment and lasting transformation, so her clients can create a life and business they truly love.
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Melissa Kay Schulz
Coffee lover, mother, salsa dancer and mindset coach for entrepreneurs.