She moved out with her two young kids, enough money to cover a few weeks rent on a small apartment near the beach and her clothes. The single parenting pension she received was barely enough to get by on and the freedom of a new chapter filled her heart simultaneously with both joy and dread.
She was taking a chance on herself.
She was taking a chance on a new dream.
This particular story might not sound so appealing and by no means does your story need to be so drastic (or perhaps it does) but if you want something more, something better for your life, you WILL need to take a chance on yourself and your dreams.
It’s saddening to see so many people with un-lived dreams and desires inside of them. They are waiting for permission to live them, or for it to somehow feel safe and comfortable enough to attempt.
Many never bring their dreams to life. Dreaming is the easy part. They sit wishing, waiting, hoping for something to be different, but never doing anything about it. Full of excuses, that may even pass as valid reasons in their mind, life passes by, and dreams die.
The excuses, which can feel so real and so personal, are actually common across the board, and get this, mostly not true!
Here are seven of the biggest dream killers
Number 1. I don’t have time
I wonder why some people have time to pursue their dreams but you don’t? After all, it is true that you’re too busy and you have no idea how you could possibly fit something else in.
The secret (not so secret) is that you must make the time. It’s called setting priorities, not watching Netflix for two hours a day and instead, investing your time and energy into your dream goal. People who want something enough, are willing to let go of this easy to use excuse, and organize their life in a way that they ‘make time’ for their dreams.
Number 2. I’m not good enough
You, me and just about everyone else thinks this at one time or another, if not often. This one is a straight-up lie. Perhaps you haven’t yet acquired all the skills you need to make your dream a reality, but that idea that you are inherently not good enough… what a load of nonsense. Whatever you need to succeed, you can learn.
Number 3. What will they think?
What will who think? Your partner, your mum, your friends, complete strangers on the internet? Anyone who has your best interests at heart will support you to go after your dreams. Anyone else’s opinion doesn’t matter because, well, they don’t have your best interests at heart. Are you seriously going to ignore your dreams and goals because someone, who doesn’t care about you, might not like it?
Number 4. That’s not what good people do
This one has different flavours but underneath it’s all the same. You were raised in a certain way to believe certain ideas and most likely learnt that it was good to conform to the expectations of others, and society. Live your life in a certain way, strive for certain things, and behave in certain ways. Your beautiful goal might just not fit.
Pursuing your dream, and all the time and effort that comes with it might mean you are not a good partner, mother, community member, etc… well, in the eyes of some. Though it can feel difficult to break free of these ingrained ideas, some on which you may be totally convinced of, it is still an excuse at the end of the day. Bottom line is, you don’t need anyone’s permission and you don’t need to justify your dream.
Number 5. I’m not into goal-setting
Yeah so, me neither. At least I never used to be. The reality is that turning a dream into reality requires a goal and a plan. If you say you want something but you’re not ‘into it’, sounds like an easy excuse. Here’s the thing about being a goal-setting type. There isn’t a type. There are people who do and people who don’t set goals. It’s a skill they’ve learnt, not a characteristic of their personality.
Number 6. I’m afraid to fail
An important distinction I’ve learnt about this excuse is that you are not afraid of failing, you are afraid of not being able to handle the consequences. Failure is a part of life, it’s often how we learn and grow. Did you give up on relationships after your first one didn’t go the distance? Was it failing or was it learning?
What we are actually afraid of is that we won’t be able to handle, tolerate, or survive the fallout. But you know this is not true. You even have past evidence of your ability to handle situations that were totally crappy. It may not have been pleasant, but you are still alive. Thus you can and will handle it, no matter what happens.
Number 7. It’s been done before
You have a big, audacious goal but someone has done it before and you think ‘why bother’. The truth is, pretty much everything has been done before, which makes this one of the easiest excuses to step away from your dreams and convince yourself that it’s not worth it.
If it’s a dream of yours and it hasn’t been done by you, then it hasn’t been done… by you. There are a hundred things that you go after every day that a billion other people go after as well. Money, good food, relationships, the latest style of smartphone, saving up for a holiday. What’s the difference?
The good news is, if it’s been done before, then it’s very do-able.
None of these favourite top 7 excuses have any truth to them when you break it down. Sure some of them need a bit of effort to get past, but you can totally do this if you choose to.
So back to the mum with the two young kids and no money. She knew she wanted something more, something better. She put her excuses aside and took a chance on herself.
In fact, since those early days back in 2013, I’ve cared for my children single-handedly, I’ve built a business that supports my family and I’ve continued to dream and set bigger goals. I’ve stopped caring what others think and stopped buying into the idea that I don’t have what it takes. I’ve done it and so can you.
You only have one, precious life. So my final question to you is “why not live it?” If you’ve got dreams, it’s time to ditch the excuses and bring them to life.
Meet Melissa Kay
A mother, lover of life, personal growth, and good coffee, Melissa has a passion for inspiring and helping others to dream big and take action. She owns and runs Melissa Kay Coaching where she focuses on empowerment and lasting transformation, so her clients can create a life and business they truly love.
Melissa Kay Schulz
Coffee lover, mother, salsa dancer and mindset coach for entrepreneurs.