The 80:20 rule that most people wish they could ignore

You’ve probably heard it, achieving your big dreams and goals requires you to grow as a person and get outside of your comfort zone.

Oh, how much easier would it be if it were mostly strategy (the how-to) and hardly mindset and growth? Someone could tell you how to do, you do it and ta-da, it’s done! 

That is in fact, how many salespeople and business coaches present their product and draw you in, in hope of a quick and easy fix to your problem. Whilst their particular strategy or product is not wrong, it’s also not complete.

The general consensus is 80% of the work needed to succeed at achieving a big goal is internal. And your success largely depends on whether or not you can get your thoughts and feelings under control. 

Thoughts and feelings. Mindset and emotions. The beliefs you have about things and the reactions you have to certain experiences. 

This is where it begins to feel too hard and most people either don’t know how to do the inner work or are afraid of the changes, so they continue looking for an easier way. They read all the books, try the next shiny strategy, hire the next business coach that promises their solution is what truly works.

Unfortunately, none of it works unless you work. You have to put in the work, take the action, make the call, get out there. And what stops you from doing all that is your thoughts and feelings. 

The strategy is important and has its place. You are more important and need to work through your resistance, fear, procrastination, and doubt. Your big beautiful dream requires you to take action and that action requires you to stop sabotaging yourself because you haven’t done the internal work. 

The internal work is two-fold.

1. Developing a mindset for success.
2. Healing old wounds. 

Mindset for Success
Your mindset put simply, is the attitude and attached beliefs or ideas that you have about life and business. It determines how you will respond to and interpret different situations.                               Your mindset will determine how you handle setbacks in life and business.

A poor mindset will see you giving up at the first hurdle. A mindset for success will allow you to meet the challenges, grow through them, learn from them, alter course as needed but always keep your eye on the goal and keep taking action and moving forward towards your success.


True transformation
Developing the right kind of mindset is absolutely necessary, getting positive, setting goals, implementing new habits. But there’s a deeper level to the internal work that holds the secret to unlocking the real transformation. The healing of old wounds and letting go of beliefs that don’t support your success is a powerful undertaking that creates lasting change and will stop you from self-sabotaging. 

It’s not the pretty, easy, or shiny solution but if you’re serious about your big dreams, don’t shy away from the very thing that will give you true freedom. 


When you learn to overcome your self-sabotaging behaviours you can create any level of success that you choose. I’m always continuing to work on up-levelling but I’ve come a long way from barely scraping by on a single parenting pension, to building a business doing something I love and supporting my family. From ‘how will I pay the bills?’ to 5-figure months and from living my life from a place of desperation to personal power and inspiration. I’ve even broken my history of disastrous, dependent, even abusive at times relationships and found genuine love, respect and stability. 


What is your big dream and are you willing to go all-in for it?

If like me, one of your goals is to build a successful business that positively impacts the lives of others and creates financial abundance for you and your family, I have a special invitation for you below. 

Be willing to go all-in to have the life you want. You’ll never regret giving it your best shot. 


Ready to up-level your business and your life?

I’m looking for 10 women who’ve had enough of the struggle in their business who want help to stop self-sabotaging and start creating real results in the next 2 months. 
Are you looking for help to grow both yourself and your business? 
I’ve created a powerful framework to help female entrepreneurs just like you, to overcome the self-doubt and procrastination in a 10-week experience. I’m looking for 10 ladies to join me as Beta Testers to run through the system. 
Would you like to join 9 other women dedicated to their dreams over the next 10 weeks to accelerate your success and become unstoppable? 
If you answered yes then go here for details. 
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​Meet Melissa Kay 
A mother, lover of life, personal growth, and good coffee, Melissa has a passion for inspiring and helping others to dream big and take action. She owns and runs Melissa Kay Coaching where she focuses on empowerment and lasting transformation, so her clients can create a life and business they truly love.