If you’ve got big dreams and goals for your life and business, chances are you’ve already come across a naysayer or two.
Someone in your family thinks you should ‘just be a little more realistic’. Perhaps your partner doesn’t understand why you are pouring your heart and soul into something that isn’t paying big bucks (yet). Your friends might want you to be like you were ‘in the good old days’ and the people around you seem more interested in living for the weekends instead of living every day.
It’s tricky enough at times to manage your own doubts and stay focused, let lone dealing with naysayers.
Sometimes our dreams and goals are too big for the people around us.
It can be lonely, frustrating, and worse, it can make you begin to doubt yourself more.
There are ways to handle it that will make your life much easier, and no, you don’t have to disown everybody in your family or move to another state. It’s true that you might need some new friends, inspiration and role models, which are easier to find than you might think.
Top 5 tips to deal with the naysayers:
#1 My business is none of your business
When someone asks you how your business is going, and it makes you feel uncomfortable, change the topic. This one applies to family members, friends and people at networking events who are fishing for ways to make you feel you’re
on the wrong path or to elevate themselves. Don’t give anyone who’s not genuinely interested in supporting your success, the opportunity to kill your dreams. Your business is none if their business.
“I’m loving it, thank you. How is Aunty Trisha doing these days?”
#2 Choose wisely who you confide in
It’s fantastic when you have someone you trust to share your big, audacious business goals with. That someone is not anyone. Before you start excitedly blurting out your latest and greatest vision, ask yourself these questions. Does this person also have big dreams and goals? Do they know anything about owning a business? Do they sincerely care for me and want to see me shine like a star?
This one also applies to partners if they are not fully on board. Unfortunately, I’ve heard it from too many clients, women in particular, that their husband wasn’t supporting them to fulfil their dreams, and didn’t understand why they put so much time and energy into it.
Be discerning about who you share your ideas and goals with. Not everyone will be as excited as you are, especially those who love you as you are and don’t want you to change.
# 3 Don’t take advice from anyone who isn’t expert on the topic or hasn’t already achieved what you want. Duh!
It’s crazy how we let others influence us! Have you ever been upset by a stranger’s comment on Instagram or doubted yourself because Uncle Tom suggested that online business isn’t a real business?
Those strangers on Facebook who write long messages offering unsolicited advice and others who criticize your efforts, telling you to do it differently, without knowing anything about you or your business. Ignore them.
Don’t rely on the well-meaning counsel offered in Forums and Facebook groups unless you know the person giving it is credible. They are great places for connection and ideas but don’t base your business decisions on guidance from random people.
Don’t turn to your best friend who works a weekday 9-5 job for advice on what to do next or understand the plight of a budding entrepreneur.
And as for Uncle Tom who had his own car repair business 30 years ago and wants to offload his outdated expertise onto someone, and relive his glory days, smile graciously and refer to tip #1.
#4 Surround yourself with positivity and inspiration
Get a regular dose of inspiration, useful and relevant information, and skills by attending seminars and workshops. Read books from the leaders your field, and tune in to podcasts and interviews. There is so much available for you, there’s no need to feel like you’re alone with your big dreams and goals. Check-in with those who’ve gone before you on the path to entrepreneurial success.
Best make it a daily habit of at least 30 minutes of positive input and attend a great event a couple of times a year. Choose one that fires you up and creates massive momentum in the direction you want to go.
#5 Don’t be average by default
Have you heard that you become the average of the 5 people you spend the most time with? Sometimes our dreams and goals are too big for our current circle of five. That’s ok, you don’t have to abandon your friends and family who aren’t on a similar path to you.
You can expand into a new circle by joining online or offline networking groups, communities, masterminds and programs. These spaces are filled with others who are also dreaming big and committed to taking a chance on themselves. This circle is where you share your audacious goals, find support and accountability, and openly share your wins without fear of being shot down by tall poppy syndrome.*
You don’t owe anybody anything, most certainly not the naysayers, and you are free to create a life and business you truly love. There’s no need to play small and safe when you have every opportunity to be extraordinary. Whilst we are wired as human beings to look for validation from others in our groups, consider carefully whose opinions you give any weight to.
If you’re ready to go after your big dreams and goals, and not willing to let anything or anyone stand in your way, I invite you to join me in the next Accelerator Experience in January 2021. In an intimate group of like-minded women, you’ll find the guidance, support and accountability you need to get there faster.
Join the waitlist today for details, find out how you can access early bird prices, and be among the first to secure a spot when doors open.
Meet Melissa Kay
A mother, lover of life, personal growth, and good coffee, Melissa has a passion for inspiring and helping others to dream big and take action. She owns and runs Melissa Kay Coaching where she focuses on empowerment and lasting transformation, so her clients can create a life and business they truly love.
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*The tall poppy syndrome describes the cultural phenomenon of mocking people who think highly of themselves, "cutting down the tall poppy". Common in Australia and New Zealand, it is seen by many as self-deprecating and by others as promoting modesty and egalitarianism. - source: Wikipedia.
Melissa Kay Schulz
Coffee lover, mother, salsa dancer and mindset coach for entrepreneurs.